Have you become a mother for the first time? Of course, baby number one is on the priority list. But you are still there yourself. Taking care of your baby, taking care of yourself, getting pregnant… sometimes it can seem like a lot, no matter how fulfilling motherhood is. In short: how do you survive your first motherhood? There is no other way when you have just become a mother. Baby has the top spot on your priority list! That can be wonderful: cuddling together, laughing, playing… but let’s also remain honest. There is a lot to learn. It is logical that you sometimes feel that responsibility weighs heavily on you. It is also logical that you do your utmost to do everything right. But do cultivate some self-confidence. The famous pediatrician Dr. Spock wrote in 1946 that mothers should believe more in their natural talent for motherhood! Gathering information is important, but don’t frantically turn it into rocket science. To start, give yourself – and your partner, if any – a good basic book about parenting. Mind you: one good book, not twenty. Don’t be fooled by the large selection.
They are there for you
Fortunately, you don’t have to learn all the ins and outs of being a mother on your own. Numerous professionals advise and help, including from the consultation office. Accept that help and don’t be ashamed of the fact that you simply cannot do everything alone. Take maternity care, for example. You can arrange this in consultation to a certain extent, such as ensuring the visit runs smoothly, but also housekeeping. Once the maternity period is over, there are other options. Be creative! Many young grandmothers and grandfathers are happy to help, and perhaps a girl or boy next door wants to do some odd jobs for some pocket money. Do you have more time for your little one?
Living together, doing together
In addition to professionals and family, unless you are a single mother, there is of course another rock next to you on the couch: your own partner. Nice topic or not, talk about the division of tasks in time. It is only fair if everything that comes your way is handled by both of you. To be fair, not all men do it all automatically. Don’t be too shy to express your wishes clearly. Didn’t you have your child together? Leave things with a little confidence. Research proves that dads can be just as full-fledged caregivers as moms, and can meet most of your child’s needs just as well.
I think, you think…
Sometimes good advice is expensive. Advice is not available at the moment, is contradictory or does not sit well with you. Surf to an internet forum or ask in your area how other mothers are doing it. And don’t forget your own parents.
Depregnancy
After your delivery, depregnancy begins. Body and mind remain in a restless phase for a while. In the beginning, days of crying cause intense emotions. Do not freak out! Just a reaction to the rapid reduction of your pregnancy hormones. You will also experience physical discomfort, especially in the first few weeks. The cervix and vagina must get back into shape. Also, due to the healing of the place where the placenta was located, so-called postpartum discharge occurs. This discharge changes color from reddish to white or yellow in a few weeks. Your menstrual cycle starts again. Physically you may feel a lot again within a month. Mentally you often need more time. The rule of thumb is: nine months pregnant, nine months unpregnant. And it can still be more or less for you.
What about me?
The temptation is to focus on everyone but yourself. But that doesn’t just mean you. A healthy and rested mother is a better mother! Take your time and space. That starts with your rest. Put limits on visits and social obligations. For the time being, why not go to bed as early as your body asks? You and your body have done a great job. First new energy has to come in, only then can it come out again. Pamper your body a little extra, for example with a nice body lotion. A good tip is to gradually start doing some gentle exercise again after about a month. There are useful books with examples. Please note: do not force anything and if in doubt, just consult your doctor!
This is an adaptation of an article that previously appeared in the magazine ‘Child on the way’