My bag… Oh there it is. The same rush every morning, no time for a normal breakfast, I’m tired of it. Another fifteen minutes, then I can look him in the eyes again and my day will be good again. What would he have done this weekend? His shining eyes, his soft lips and well-built body. And then those strong hands. I’ll surprise him with a kiss in his office later… Sexual intimacy at work. When is it desirable and when not? The above example clearly shows what desired sexual intimacy entails: there are two free parties present who purposefully and consciously want to be closer to each other mentally and physically. When three factors such as freedom, meaning and effectiveness are present in an action, we call it desirable. Of course, the opposite of desirable is undesirable. In unwanted sexual intimacy, actions based on impulses play a major role. There is no freedom; it was not chosen. There is also no meaning, because people are not looking for meaning. Certainly we cannot talk about efficiency, because impulses are never goal-oriented.
Sexual Intimacy: WHY?
There are various motives and reasons underlying desired sexual intimacy within an organization. It can be promotional material, where usually women are the object of the promotion. Looking for excitement within a dormant organization can also cause work romances. Such romances are often short-lived and offer people an escape from everyday worries. These mainly occur among married people who turn adultery into a game to keep their marriage exciting and thus want to save their marriage.
RISKS of sexual intimacy at work
Work romances can sometimes have unpleasant consequences for those involved. If they don’t handle it properly, they often cause problems in the workplace. This is the case, among other things, when there is one-sided love between two colleagues. In this case, a rejection is usually self-evident. The rejected party in particular then feels in a disadvantageous position and if they also harbor feelings of revenge, this can lead to actions that, in extreme cases, can cost the reputation or job of the other party! If a romance between two colleagues places one of the parties in a privileged position over the other colleagues, it can cause jealousy which in turn can jeopardize the parties’ job or position. This mainly happens to people who hold higher positions within the company.
The POLICY surrounding sexual intimacy
Research by the Labor Inspectorate shows that organizations that have not yet drawn up a policy against sexual harassment are more likely to experience sexual harassment in the workplace. Women often also try to solve the problem of bothersome behavior themselves, in an informal manner . Policy should respond to this. To this end, department heads can be taught to recognize problems and make them open for discussion. Policies against sexual intimacy can also be very important to avoid certain solutions that women sometimes find for their problem, such as requesting a transfer or resigning. The research also shows that simply appointing a confidential counselor and/or drawing up a complaints procedure is not sufficient. Providing information on a regular basis about sexual intimacy in general and about the company’s policy in this area seems to be an even more important part of this.
Actions considered undesirable (%)
|
Action |
man |
Woman |
|
Wink |
8 |
11 |
|
Hand on shoulder |
8 |
26 |
|
Tap on the buttock |
70 |
74 |
|
Note about eyes |
22 |
26 |
|
Note about breasts |
69 |
81 |
|
Note about buttocks |
66 |
72 |
|
Invitation for drinks |
14 |
26 |
|
Invitation to dinner |
19 |
30 |
|
Business trip invitation |
31 |
67 |
|
Depends a lot on the situation |
8 |
0 |