In this article, background information about why children become deaf and what you as a parent can do to prevent this and ensure that your child listens.
What does elderly deaf mean?
Children who do not listen to their parents are deaf. A deaf child often does not respond at all when the parent asks or says something. Some children react absently. These children do listen to other adults such as teachers, which rules out a physical problem. This is solely about ignoring the parent’s authority.
Causes
It used to be widely believed that these children had custody problems. It was therefore often solved with a strict approach. However, the child does not do it consciously and does not want to challenge his parents. The underlying causes depend on the family situation and the personalities within the family. The causes can be grouped into the following general causes.
Imitating parental behavior:
Children learn social interaction primarily from their parents. If the parents pay little attention to what the child has to say, the child will find this behavior normal and imitate it towards the parents. The child also observes how the parents interact with other people: if they often ignore certain people or do not listen attentively, the child will first show this behavior towards the parents and later towards other people.
Imitate others:
These can be peers ( called ,peer, in sociology, which means equals ) or other examples such as characters in stories or on TV.
Attention problems:
This is often caused by new circumstances such as a move or the birth of a brother or sister. The child then turns within himself to process the changes and can therefore pay little attention to the world around him.
Rebellion:
The child gets the feeling that he is not getting enough attention and wants to make the parents feel what he is going through.
What can you do as a parent?
The first step is to find the cause of this behavior. First of all, medical problems must be ruled out. With certain problems, such as irregular blood sugar levels, a child can turn inwards and appear as if he or she is deaf. Other medical problems also exhibit the same outward behavior. Often these problems are hereditary and the parents or another family member have the same behavior. Of course, there can also be hearing problems. As a parent you can test this yourself by observing your child when he plays or watches TV or in company. A conversation with teachers and other involved educators often provides more clarity.
If there are no medical problems, there is another problem. This is usually an external problem such as the behavior of others or new circumstances. To change behavior, the cause must be addressed. Otherwise the behavior will return. It is important to make a distinction between the child and the behavior: your child shows disinterested behavior towards you, but is not uninterested.
Tips
The following tips will help restore communication with the child, regardless of the cause of the problem:
Set a good example:
Demonstrate the behavior you expect from your child. If your child sees that you really listen to others and that you approach others respectfully, he will imitate this behavior.
Listen to your child:
If your child notices that you really listen, he will be more likely to really listen to you. Also look at the body language. Do not judge what your child says or what you observe.
Talk to your child:
Children understand more than we often assume. Do not use more words than necessary and do not use words that are too difficult for your child. Maintain eye contact during the conversation and regularly check whether your child understands you. End the conversation if you notice that your child does not want to listen. Then take a rest together and resume the conversation at a later time. Tell the child what you think is the cause and how this situation arose and what you expect from your child.
Rest and regularity:
Children often disconnect from their parents when they feel they have no control over their lives. Some children then rebel in an attempt to control their lives. This gives them a safe feeling. A recognizable rhythm with sufficient moments of rest ( depending on the child and the family situation ) helps the child to relax. However, the daily schedule must be flexible enough not to distress the child and yet provide sufficient reassurance.
Distinction between child and behavior:
A distinction between the child and the behavior helps to approach the child as a person regardless of how he behaves. By not identifying the child with the behavior, it is easier to listen to the child with understanding.
Finally
If a child is deaf at some point, this does not mean that he will always be deaf or will not respect his parents as a teenager. The situation is that way at a certain time for a certain reason ( or a combination of factors ), but this does not mean that it will always remain that way. By approaching the situation positively, you as a parent have more courage to eliminate the causes and adjust your child’s behavior. This is best done in a relaxed atmosphere where everyone can be themselves. A conversation with a child has more effect after playing together than after an unpleasant incident.