Lying is wrong, but if you lie, do it right

Telling a lie with a steely, impassive face is difficult. Because we fear that the lie can be read on our faces. Fear is an emotion that is expressed through body language. We realize that and it makes us even more insecure while joking. Especially when a man speaks untruths to a woman. We won’t get a big nose, but a noticeable blush, or the shameful red on the jaws, is not pleasant at that moment either.

Lies are part of nature

No one always speaks the whole truth or always says exactly what they think. Every woman who beautifies herself in front of the mirror is actually joking about her appearance. TV presenters and politicians can also do something with their dyed hair. By the way, lies are not only part of man, but part of nature as a whole. Like the Cuckoo that lays her egg in someone else’s nest. And doesn’t every animal with a camouflage color actually say: I’m not there? When it comes to a small excuse or insignificant lie, a person makes an average of two per day. Or do you always honestly say how old you think someone else is?

Lying is a natural phenomenon, which in many cases is necessary. For example, the white lie, from ourselves or from someone else. Not all lies are of course equally difficult, but if your boss suddenly asks you if you are secretly applying for a job and you wrongly deny it, lying suddenly turns out to be top sport. Our body is then our opponent, because it gives various signals that we are telling a lie.

What body language expressions can reveal that we are lying?

  • we feel ourselves blushing
  • The blushing scares us so much that our heads turn bright red
  • our hand sometimes almost automatically fiddles nervously with our face
  • we suddenly rub our fingers along our nose without meaning to
  • our pupils dart nervously from left to right without us noticing
  • we speak with a higher voice or even worse with a stuffy voice
  • we start speaking faster than normal, or we start speaking smoother than normal
  • We may shift nervously back and forth in our chair, but it may also be that we freeze
  • It is also possible that we do not dare to look the other person in the eye
  • but because we know that we have to do that, we start looking at the other person for far too long

Because we are so terribly afraid of being exposed, lying is always accompanied by emotions that we must keep in check. We know that controlling those emotions is not easy and that adds to the uncertainty. Can we control our body language? Yes, if we are aware that we can give off certain signals, we can also prevent them as best as possible. Getting a red color cannot be prevented, but you can agree in advance with yourself that you will never rub your face with your hands and that you will continue to talk at a normal pace.

Women are walking lie detectors

Research into body language has shown that during face-to-face communication, i.e. up close, non-verbal signals account for about 60-80% of the influence of the message. The sound of the voice has 20-30% influence, while the words only have 10% influence. A woman’s sensory equipment is superior to that of a man, and she signals and interprets all signals. That’s why men find it all the more difficult to lie to a woman’s face, while it’s much easier the other way around. So if you as a man have to lie to a woman, it is better to do it over the telephone. It is even easier via an app or email, but there is a risk that you will still have to provide verbal explanations.