An annoying announcement, bad news or a difficult subject. How do we deliver such a difficult message. Sometimes it is wise to deliver the difficult message as quickly and clearly as possible. In another situation, we may defeat our purpose by being too direct. Then we would be better off waiting for a favorable moment and/or packaging the unpleasant information diplomatically.
Bad news conversation
In general, really bad news is delivered as quickly and clearly as possible. If you do get fired, have your manager tell you right away. If your leg is broken, it is of no use to the doctor beating around the bush. However, there are many situations where it is wiser to package the message slightly and/or wait with the difficult announcement until a suitable moment presents itself. So strike only when the iron is hot.
When do we take the cautious approach
This often concerns annoying announcements in the relational sphere, such as buyer/seller, boss/subordinate. But we also do not want to spoil relationships between members of an association, colleagues, family and neighbors by appearing too harsh on sensitive problems. And if we want to extract confidential information from others, asking direct questions usually does not work either.
How to package an annoying message or difficult question
First of all, of course, by paying close attention to our choice of words and using soothing words where possible, because:
- smelling strange just sounds different from smelling
- salary adjustment is slightly less shocking than salary reduction
- big challenge sounds less pessimistic than big problem
If you want to speak to a colleague specifically because there is a complaint about him, that is of course quite difficult. If that is not the intention, it is better to bring it up if you happen to be lecturing each other about something else. If you want to find out something confidential from a business associate, you have a much better chance by broaching another subject first. There is a good chance that he also has questions. And in the rhythm of question and answer, there will probably be a good moment when our important question hits less hard.
The devil is often in the tail
The best time to bring up a problem or difficult question is after we have dealt with another relatively easy topic. If it is not a telephone conversation but a verbal interview, we can even wait until our conversation partner has already gotten up to leave, thus suggesting that it is not actually that important.
If you yourself are the direct object
Please realize the above tactic when you are in the situation where you are being consulted by someone else. If more than one topic is addressed, the first question (or statement) is often only the prelude to what is subsequently discussed. In many cases, the first topic is not the main reason for a phone call, email or personal conversation. Unless of course there is only one subject.
Tip: If you are visiting your boss and, even though you thought the conversation was over, he says, ,Oh yeah, one more thing…, be extra wary!
I ask Monday morning or Friday afternoon, or timing!
If you want to get an important concession from someone else and you do not overestimate your chances, it is not very useful to make your request on Monday morning before the first coffee. Because once a no usually remains a no. It is better to find out when the person in question is not too busy, whether he/she is in a good mood, etc. If necessary, just ask when he/she has a few minutes to spare.
Wait until a good opportunity presents itself
It is often easier to let the question piggyback on another topic. You are bothered by your neighbor’s radio but find it annoying to broach the subject of noise pollution directly. Then wait patiently for the moment when you can chat together about music and sound systems. Another good reason could be that your conversation partner wants something from you: ,of course I will, but can I also ask you something?,
The place of action
Remember that a casual conversation in passing, or during a casual walk together, will not have nearly as much impact as sitting across from each other in a room. Both methods have their pros and cons.
We prefer to visit for important concessions
A personal conversation often yields the most. If that were not the case, there would not be so many well-paid salespeople, advisors and representatives traveling around in expensive cars. A visit is not only useful because you indicate that you consider your conversation partner important, but also because a telephone conversation can be ended quickly. And it is also very easy to answer an email with no. But once you visit, you won’t just let yourself be sent out the door.
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- E-mail, text messages and WhatsApp often cause more damage than you would like