The listening skills of paraphrasing and summarizing are discussed in more detail. We communicate all day long. An important communication skill is listening. Nothing seems easier than that. Yet many people fall short in this area and sometimes experience it themselves. Listening to what someone has to say requires us to maintain our attention, to distinguish between main and secondary issues and to respond appropriately to what is said.
Listening skills
- Active listening
- Paraphrase
- Definition
- Functions
- Rules of thumb
- To summarize
- Paraphrasing and summarizing pitfalls
- Parrots
- Interpretation
Active listening
Listening is not only important when listening to a lecture, but it is also a very important skill for good communication between people. A conversation with a colleague, a customer, your subordinate or your manager involves a process of active listening. It is not only important that you hear the other person, but also that you understand the other person’s message. By applying listening skills you let your conversation partner know that you are listening to him and you create the opportunity to explore the topic of conversation further. Active listening includes the following four skills:
- attentive behavior;
- provide emotional reflections;
- paraphrase; and
- to summarize.
In this article we will discuss the last two skills. The listening skills of active listening and providing emotional reflection are discussed in a separate article.
Paraphrase
Definition
Paraphrasing means that you process the other person’s information, interpret it and express or recapitulate it in your own words. However, it is more than just a concise representation of what has been discussed, but rather it allows you to hear through what the other person apparently meant. Do this regularly during the conversation. You can paraphrase as follows:
,So if I understand correctly, you want to be considered for another position because you want more of a challenge?,
A paraphrase is more challenging and confrontational than a summary.
Functions
Paraphrasing has a number of important functions:
- check whether you have understood your conversation partner correctly;
- further clarify the topic of discussion;
- encouragement to tell more;
- explore the theme in a more targeted and concrete manner;
- selecting a particular topic in the story.
- By briefly summarizing what the other person said in your own words, you check whether you have understood him correctly. To continue the previous example, your conversation partner might say,
,Yes, that’s right, but that’s not the only reason I want another position.,
2. This comment should naturally lead us to the second point: further exploring the topic of discussion. This can be done by asking more far-reaching questions:
,What other arguments play a role in your decision?,
3. Paraphrasing also encourages your conversation partner to continue talking. You encourage someone else to tell more. You show that you understand and want to understand the other person and that you are open to their story.
4. By paraphrasing the theme is explored in a more targeted and concrete manner. You delve deeper into the matter. It is important that you do not take too many side roads and gradually stray from the original topic. Distinguish between main and secondary issues, as noted in the introduction.
5. Your conversation partner can bring up many issues in a short time. By paraphrasing you can highlight one topic and continue with it. Here again it is important to be able to distinguish between main and secondary issues.
Rules of thumb
There are a number of rules of thumb regarding paraphrasing:
- make it short and concise;
- do it in your own words;
- don’t be judgmental or moralizing;
- give the other person space to respond.
To summarize
The purpose of summarizing is twofold:
- structuring and organizing the conversation; and
- Check whether you have understood the other person correctly.
Paraphrasing is done after a conversation and summarizing is done over a larger part of the conversation. For example, it can serve very well to conclude a certain subject or theme. Always give your conversation partner the opportunity to respond to your summary.
Paraphrasing and summarizing pitfalls
With regard to paraphrasing and summarizing, there are a number of pitfalls:
- parrots;
- an interpretation.
Parrots
Parroting involves repeating exactly what someone else says, but that is not paraphrasing but simply parroting. This appears mechanical to your conversation partner and does not show that you have understood the other person.
Interpretation
By giving an interpretation of what the other person says, you distort the content of the message conveyed by the other person and you provide a poor response to what the other person brings to the table. Paraphrasing is not about your interpretations, but about a representation in your own words of what the other person has told you. So you will have to understand what someone else means, otherwise it quickly becomes suggestive.
read more
- 4 aspects or characteristics of message (communication)
- Listening skills: active listening and emotional reflection
- Developing Essential Leadership Qualities: Examples
- Motivational interviewing: effect on motivational assistance
- Paradoxical communication/paradoxical behavior: sender-receiver