Swearing and bullying occurs every day in both children and adults. Bullying usually happens at work or school, sometimes outside of it. Swearing often goes hand in hand with bullying. In most cases, the bully feels power over his victim. The victim himself or herself is usually bullied because he or she is different from others, behaves differently, dresses, talks or looks differently. But the victim may also have a past that has caused him to be bullied.
What is swearing and bullying?
Swearing and bullying often go together, but this does not always have to be the case. Swearing means swearing, insulting someone, ranting and raving. But swearing also means: to grumble or make a comment without wanting to offend someone. So swearing does not always have to be negative. Someone who accidentally hits his thumb with a hammer may start cursing out of pain, without these swear words being aimed at anyone personally.
In combination with bullying, swearing often takes on a different meaning. Swear words are now directed personally at someone with the intention of insulting or belittling someone. Bullying is the intentional act of belittling or insulting someone, often in front of others. Bullying happens more often in groups and often occurs among children, at school or at work. Often someone is bullied who is unable to defend themselves. Bullying can consist of psychological bullying such as swearing or complaining about the person or towards the person, but also physical bullying such as pushing and pulling the person, kicking, hitting, chasing or otherwise. In addition, bullying has a third form: deliberately destroying or causing someone’s belongings to disappear.
Why does someone exhibit bullying behavior?
In most cases, people exhibit bullying behavior for their sense of power. The bully feels that he or she has power over his victim. Bullying in a group often gives a feeling of solidarity. The bullies often reinforce each other in this. Bullying behavior sometimes arises from psychological disorders.
Bullying is most common at work or school. Outside of that area, bullying occurs less often because groups quickly fall apart unless there are close friend groups. Bullying occurs in all walks of life and in all cultures. At the age of six to eight, children become aware that swearing is a form of being noticed or used to impress others. These children also learn through trial and error that bullying or being bullied is a way of showing power or powerlessness.
Bullying in adulthood sometimes stems from the victim not being believed or not being trusted. If the victim has a background or exhibits behavior that differs from normal, he or she may become distrustful, which may lead to bullying behavior in his or her immediate environment.
Swearing doesn’t hurt. Or is it?
It is often said that swearing does not hurt. On the one hand, this is true: swearing does not physically hurt. For many people, swearing is a way to hurt someone without causing injury. This immediately makes it clear that swearing can indeed hurt: it causes psychological wounds. To what extent this is the case depends on the victim and the manner of swearing. Many people can still tolerate an occasional swear word. Daily insults can eventually make even the most level-headed person doubt themselves. Someone may even start to believe in the insults. If the victim is told every day that he or she is ugly, he or she will eventually give in and start to believe that he or she is actually ugly. Yet there are people who can easily close themselves off to such insults and let it all pass them by.
Forms of bullying
Bullying has many different forms. Swearing is a very important one because swearing occurs in almost every form of bullying. There are also other forms such as:
- Physical: pulling, pushing, kicking, hitting, scratching, pulling hair, chasing, chasing, waiting for, getting stuck.
- Mental: swearing, ignoring, excluding from activities
- Destruction: stealing goods, destroying goods, taking things and throwing them
- Extortion: threatening with violence, forcing to hand over money or goods, forcing to do odd jobs
- Social: ridiculing the victim publicly or via the internet, placing nonsensical advertisements or appeals on behalf of the victim, distributing notes about the victim
Dealing with bullying behavior
Bullying can continue for years if no action is taken. It is important that the victim receives support from someone and that the victim is understood. The victim may need help solving the problems. This help must also be provided. Children must be able to contact their parents or teacher for this. Adults must be able to contact their family, partner and/or employer for this. If this is not the case, the victim will sometimes find it difficult to escape the bullying behavior of others.
The bully must realize what bullying means for the victim. When there is a group of bullies, it is important that the biggest bully is removed and the rest become aware of their bullying behavior. Punishments and clear rules regarding bullying behavior can help with this. Bullies can often be recognized by slurring, laughing, whispering or pointing. It often concerns the same group of people.
The victim can be recognized by changing behavior such as being overly nice, clicking, wanting to bribe or buy off someone and focusing very much on people who are nice to him or her.
The adult victim sometimes has even more difficulty withdrawing from bullying behavior because it is more difficult for third parties to mediate in this or because third parties do not want to intervene or take sides. Sometimes bullying gets so out of hand that the victim has to seek psychological help or even no longer wants to live life. Social skills training or assertiveness training can help the victim enormously. Talking a lot with someone who understands the victim is important. As long as the victim feels that someone is behind him/her and that he/she is understood, some of the burden is lifted off his/her shoulders. Sometimes the direct approach towards the bully is best: approaching them and asking why he or she is bullying. Sometimes it becomes clear that the bully does not actually know this or other problems arise. In some cases, the victim only escapes bullying behavior by, for example, changing jobs. The balance in the group is then so disturbed that it can no longer be restored.