Who doesn’t want their child to be gifted? Many parents have this as their wish. But someone who is gifted is not always happy with that. They face problems that their peers do not even think about and they quickly become bored at school. What exactly is the deal with giftedness in children? Is it a curse or a blessing?
Highly intelligent
For many parents it is a wish: to have a gifted child. After all, such a child can learn well and will therefore go far. But is that really so? And how does the child experience being gifted? For most children it is anything but a gift. They are bored at school because the material does not provide a challenge. They are also expected to be equally good at everything, but this does not have to be the case. Someone who is gifted may be very good at language, but not good at math. A gifted child does not have to be a child prodigy. Many gifted children excel only in their areas of interest.
Effects of giftedness
Gifted children are not motivated in class. Some are the first to finish the assignments and then have to wait until the rest is finished. Frequently waiting for the rest can be very annoying, which may cause the child to do things that classmates do not appreciate, such as drumming on the table or sighing deeply. It is also possible that a gifted child works extra slowly, so that he or she is not the first to complete the assignment. Meanwhile he is daydreaming.
Gifted children are more likely to exhibit undesirable behavior out of boredom. They may also develop low self-esteem and doubt themselves a lot. This can also lead to depression, because they feel misunderstood. One may even think of death, or dying. Many gifted children get along better with older children, because they recognize themselves more in them than in their classmates. But usually there are few real friendships.
The concentration is very low, so a child may not know where they are in the book. There is also a good chance that a child has sloppy handwriting because he or she lacks concentration . Due to the tension and low self-esteem, a child can also suffer from physical complaints, such as headache, nausea, rash or dizziness.
Underachievement in giftedness
A child will underperform if he or she is bored in classes. Such a child may start asking for attention by making a fuss or withdrawing. They also try to ask for attention by deliberately making mistakes in assignments. It may also be that a child no longer does anything, making him or her seem like an unmotivated student. Because the concentration is so low, the child needs a lot of encouragement to start. Scheduling homework is also a big task. The motivation is gone and in the worst cases a child no longer wants to go to school. Because concentration is often unlearned in primary school, a gifted child will rarely complete a course of study. The child has never learned how to learn and therefore does not know how to apply this in other courses.
What to do?
It is important not to place the child in an exceptional position. Do not reward the child with stickers or compliments if he/she promises to continue working or to stop daydreaming. A reward system can be counterproductive, because it makes the child realize all too well that he is different from his classmates. You should also not punish the child for daydreaming or other undesirable behavior. Once a child has completed the work, do not give assignments of the same level, as this will also cause boredom. As parents you should not push the child. This often happens in children with higher intelligence. Parents would prefer to see them get a good profession or get a great education. However, a child may not be interested in this at all and may want to become a gardener instead of a doctor.
What is important is that the child is tested for giftedness. This way you have a clearer picture of what is possible and what is not. It is also good for the child to have contact with other gifted children, so that he recognizes himself and knows that he is not alone.