Sexual abuse is a very traumatic event. It tears you apart inside and it is a long, hard process to pick up the thread again. What should you do if you have been sexually abused? And what are the consequences?
What is sexual abuse?
Sexual abuse is very big. All events in which people are confronted with sexual or sexually charged acts by third parties against their will fall under sexual violence. This means that rape, sexual assault, sexual harassment, but also exhibitionism, for example, fall under sexual violence.
Talk to someone!
The most important thing, of course, is that you tell your story. With your parents, with a friend, with family, with a counselor or confidante, it doesn’t matter much. Talk to someone you trust the most. The most important thing is that you don’t leave it alone. There will be shame, and it won’t go away, but if you share your story you will at least no longer be alone.
Declaration yes or no?
After abuse you can go to the police, this is called reporting it. If you are a minor, your parents are in charge of this, you can of course participate in this decision, but your parents are the ones who have to report it, you will then be interrogated.
If you are of age, you must file a tax return yourself. Filing a tax return can be very difficult, and understandable. You’re scared, or you just want to forget about it as quickly as possible. On the other hand, if you don’t report it, the perpetrator continues to walk free and could do the same to someone else.
You can also report what happened to you. If you only report, no investigation will be conducted and the case will not come to court. After you have filed a report, you will be interrogated by the police. Here too, shame arises again, because you have to tell 2 strangers what exactly happened. But these people (and they’ll probably say so themselves) have heard that so many times, it’s their job, they hear things like that almost every day. If you would like to have a female detective, this is possible. Sometimes this is offered, otherwise you can ask for it yourself. They will always try to respond to that request.
During the conversation, someone will type your story on the computer, and when you have finished you must read it and sign it. They usually try to do something like this in one go, but you have to keep in mind that such a conversation can take quite a few hours.
After a report has been made, an investigation will be initiated and you will, if all goes well, be kept informed of developments. If not, you can inquire about it.
Assistance
It is certainly important to seek professional help to process everything. This can be done via, for example, the Victim Support Office or via GGNet.
There is a therapy called EMDR, which can use eye movements to slightly blur your memories or turn them gray. This therapy doesn’t work for everyone, but some people swear by it.