In short, emotional intelligence is about how someone deals with emotions of themselves and others, how someone responds (emotionally) to certain situations and empathic ability. High EQ – high emotional intelligence – is associated with social success. A low EQ could indicate problems such as depression, alcohol abuse, eating disorders and aggressive behavior. EQ tests are also often used as an assessment in personnel selection.
EQ: Emotional Quotient
EQ stands for Emotional Quotient (or Emotion Quotient). Goleman introduced this concept in 1996 with his book ‘Emotional Intelligence – Emotions as Key to Success’. This brought the concept of EQ into the spotlight. Although Goleman did not intend to introduce it as an ‘official concept’, this term has nevertheless been adopted by many, has ‘sticked’ and become established. In short, emotional intelligence is about feeling, sensitivity to, awareness of and empathic ability regarding one’s own feelings and those of others. EQ also involves the ability to think associatively and also influences the acquisition of skills.
Emotional Intelligence: High and low EQ
EQ is not always clearly defined; There are therefore different descriptions and tests in circulation. In general, it can be said that emotional intelligence says something about how someone deals with emotions of themselves and others and how someone responds to certain situations. Emotional intelligence is often associated with the social success factor.
A high EQ
A high EQ seems to increase the chance of success. It has long been thought that IQ (Intelligence, cognitive ability) was an important predictor of social success. But over the years it has become apparent that people who can deal well with their own emotions and those of others have a greater chance of succeeding in life.
A low EQ
Conversely, some argue that low EQ or emotional intelligence could be an important cause of various social and personal problems such as depression, alcohol abuse, eating disorders and aggressive behavior.
Your EQ score
If you want to know whether your own EQ is high, low or average, you can test your own EQ score.
Emotion and reason – interplay
Good cooperation between emotion and reason is essential for making decisions in life. Feeling counts at least as much as thinking when making decisions. At times when one is emotionally upset, one is not able to think clearly. Conversely, research has shown that if people have little contact, they do not have access to their own emotions, which is a limiting factor when making decisions.
Personality traits
The core of emotional intelligence is the interplay between feeling and thinking. When feeling and thinking are well coordinated, this appears to increase emotional intelligence. There are various descriptions and definitions of emotional intelligence, but broadly speaking, the following personality traits fall under emotional intelligence:
- Adaptability . Flexibility and realism. People with a high EQ are realistic and able to respond to (changing) circumstances and deal with them flexibly
- Dealing with emotions. Stress and impulsive behavior. People with a high EQ can regulate emotions, impulses and work on something they want to achieve in the long term
- General mood . Cheerfulness, gloom, optimism. People with a high EQ think positively about their own possibilities and are not easily discouraged
- Interpersonal EQ . Empathy: Empathy and empathy. People with a high EQ are empathetic, i.e. they can relate well to the feelings of others
- Intrapersonal EQ . Insight into one’s own emotions: self-knowledge. People with a high EQ are aware of their own emotions and what they feel.
- Social skills . Social contact skills. People with a high EQ can get along well with both acquaintances and strangers.
Five dimensions of Salovey and Mayer
Salovey and Mayer (American psychologists) have given a definition of the concept of emotional intelligence, which is also described by Goleman in his book. They mention 5 dimensions:
- Knowledge of one’s own emotions
- Regulating and controlling emotions
- Self-motivation
- Recognizing other people’s emotions
- Interaction with others and social skills
Knowledge of own emotions
Knowledge of one’s own emotions is about self-awareness, recognizing a feeling when it plays a role. If one cannot recognize one’s own feelings and emotions, one has less control over them and emotions are more likely to take on a life of their own. Recognizing one’s own emotions is an important basis for emotional intelligence. When making a decision, feelings usually weigh most heavily; This makes it important to be aware of one’s own emotions and feelings. People with greater sensitivity to their feelings and emotions appear to be better managers of their own lives than people who do not have this. For example, they make better choices regarding which study, job or which partner to choose. Psychoanalysts call this capacity ‘the observing ego’.
Regulate and control emotions
Handle emotions and feelings in such a way that they contribute positively to life. People who do not deal well with feelings of excessive anxiety, depression and irritation, for example, have much less energy available for productive purposes. Awareness of emotions is the first step in regulating them. Although one is not always able to control emotions, they can generally be influenced by directing attention elsewhere. People who have good emotional self-control and are able to postpone impulses appear to be more productive in what they undertake. In a developmental psychology study, an experiment involving delaying impulses, four-year-old children could choose from two options. They could eat a marshmallow right away or wait until the test leader returned from an errand and then get two. The development of these children later in life was examined by the same researcher (longitudinal research/follow-up by developmental psychologist Mischel). Those who were able to wait 15 to 20 minutes before eating the marshmallows in the childhood study appeared to excel more after high school. They were also more socially skilled, reliable, effective, assertive and able to withstand life’s frustrations better than a large group of marshmallow eaters who couldn’t wait. Mischel argues that purposeful and self-imposed delay of gratification is probably the essence of emotional self-regulation.
Self-motivation, longer-term goals
The ability to motivate yourself. Emotions can be used positively to realize one’s own capabilities. Emotions can inspire people to perform special feats. People who are hopeful and optimistic have an easier time overcoming emotions such as anxiety and depression. When you are in a good mood, you think and feel more positively. When one is completely absorbed in activities (both thinking and feeling), a state of relaxation occurs (relaxed brain activity). As a result, everything seems to happen automatically and people are capable of top performance. Factors that play a role in this are: experiencing (difficult) things as a challenge, impulse control of one’s own emotions and postponing needs to achieve longer-term goals in the future.
Empathic ability
Empathic ability means: an empathetic or empathetic ability, the recognition of emotions in and from others. People who are empathetic are good at recognizing the feelings and desires of others, making the other person feel comfortable and understood. Being empathetic does not have to mean ‘agreeing with someone’, but it does mean being able to understand the other person, which facilitates contact and cooperation. People who have a better sense of signals from others and what they need appear to be more successful (and also appear to be better teachers or salespeople).
A lack of empathy is usually found in the relationship between mother (caregiver) and child in early childhood. An unresponsive parent systematically ignores certain feelings of their toddler and preschooler. Developmental psychology experiments have demonstrated the importance of caregiver responsiveness. In psychotherapy, improvement is often made in the client’s experience through the process of ‘corrective emotional experience’, especially on this point (at a later age, with unresponsive parents/youth).
Social skills, dealing with others
Emotions of others, being able to handle emotions of others. If one is able to regulate one’s own emotions, this increases the chance of influencing the emotions of others. The environment is influenced by the emotional signals that one sends out. Examples of social skills include having an eye for the motives and interests of others, finding personal connections with others, collaboration and consultation, negotiating solutions and being able to organize something for a group. This skill makes people good leaders and makes them popular. Being able to deal with the feelings of others usually shows the ability to recognize one’s own feelings and emotions and to shape them in a good way.
EQ Tests – Assessment
Unlike an IQ Test, where the IQ (Intelligence Quotient) can be expressed in a number (e.g. IQ of 108, etc.), an EQ test does not give one score or quotient. In this sense, the term EQ is actually inappropriate, as there is no mention of a quotient.
EQ tests are often used as part of personnel selection, as it is believed that not only knowledge but also empathy is important for successful functioning in a company, organization or institution. Making correct, logical or important decisions is in any case related to emotions, tensions and sensitivities. Research shows that employees cite the most important factor regarding their satisfaction at work: that a manager shows that he/she wants to listen to the employees and understand them.
High EQ and low EQ: score on the EQ test
As mentioned, it is not entirely clear what exactly an EQ test measures, but some people formulate it in two extremes: that people with a particularly low EQ can be described as headstrong and someone with a high EQ is more conformist. However, there are various theories about emotional intelligence. These often have to do with leadership and teamwork. There are critics who question the value of an EQ test, as EQ is not an objective or precisely measurable characteristic.
read more
- EQ Test – What is your Emotional Intelligence? – your EQ Score
- SQ, spiritual intelligence