We often pretend that we have so much self-knowledge and yet when we go deep into ourselves, which is not always easy, this can be quite disappointing. What qualities do you have that you would rather lose than be rich? How do you position yourself within society and how honest are you with yourself and the outside world?
Different situations
If you know how you normally react to something, that says something about extreme situations, but certainly not always. In a normal situation you can rationalize something, but in an extreme situation your body reacts without you consciously doing so. Adrenaline is an important one and makes you react much more primarily.
But the distinctiveness, the free spirit or how consistent we are, can also turn out differently than we originally thought. Some situations are discussed in more detail below.
How do you respond?
Be unique
Every person is different and on the one hand we would like to emphasize this, while on the other hand we like to follow the trendsetters. The fact that we are actually herd animals is rejected by most people. But we cannot simply ignore trends without calling herd animal into our mouths. Yet we like to describe ourselves as unique, we fight for being unique. Because the moment you are convinced that you are unique, you can name enough things that support this. Think of the least selfish, the most honest, or the most creative mind. There are plenty of things where you can describe yourself as unique. The majority of humanity will therefore also describe themselves as a unique person. In fact it is of course true, because every person is different. But when we look at uniqueness, as we normally address it, we do not apply it when we talk about all people who are different. After all, this also applies to animals and plants and that means that nature is unique.
But what is more important is when we describe something or someone as unique and explain why. To start with the latter, we often translate uniqueness into that which is close to ourselves. After all, that directly links us to the uniqueness that we like to be. The when can be filled in with any situation that falls outside the regular. These are moments to address and therefore also how unique someone is.
Strangely enough, we also do it in a negative sense, because when disaster happens to someone, it is always more intense than to the other. Various studies have been conducted on intense situations and most people almost always address it as the most intense for themselves. Even when the first phase is over and you can rationalize it more. Being unique in every sense of the word apparently gives us a form of self-esteem that is necessary to keep us going.
To be consequent
We believe consistency is important and it is good for growing people and animals to be consistent. It is clear and recognizable and is seen as quality. We are happy to attribute this quality to ourselves. However, when situations that directly concern ourselves surface, it is often a bit more nuanced. Think of the coveted pink piece of paper, the driver’s license. How often has it been your fault if you have failed and how tolerant has the examiner been if you have passed. But even if you are known as a bully, this is often because someone is also bullying you or the tailgater says that his/her predecessor continues to drive on the left very irritatingly. Now put that same situation on someone else and how consistently do you respond?
However, there is a differentiation to be made when it comes to the different cultures. Western culture is much more individual than, for example, a number of countries in the East. This is particularly characteristic of an individualistic society.
A pleasant mirror
Within love relationships, we have been looking from a psychological perspective for some time as to what is attractive within a relationship. The fact is that we generally fall for someone who falls within our own spectrum, even though we say we have an open mind and that outside is not part of the decision to enter into a loving relationship with someone. The woman with blue eyes is more likely to fall for someone who has an eye color that falls within this spectrum (blue, green, gray) and dark hair is more likely to go for dark hair. Research has even shown that if a dark man falls for a blonde woman, this woman often has dyed hair and in fact has a darker color naturally. Likewise, if the hair turns gray, the original color can often be restored to the other partner.
But this also plays a role outside love relationships. In Australia, extensive research was conducted on public transport and it quickly became clear that people are more likely to sit next to someone who has something similar. Think of a cap, glasses or the same gender. This, no matter how we continue to deny it, has to do with one group against another. Where the group you belong to is of course better, more fun, more intelligent. From a primary reaction, it is something that has to do with a bit of safety and recognition.
In addition, and this is a major misconception, we apparently assume that the person who looks more like us in an outward sense is also more in tune with what is going on in our brain.
Finally
Many more things have emerged from research conducted in recent years. Things in which it becomes clear that we position ourselves slightly differently than reality. Not that this is serious, in fact not, as long as you realize that the truth is sometimes just a little more to the left or just a little more to the right.