People who are lonely often feel sad and empty inside. They feel powerless to change their emotions. Loneliness is caused by an imbalance in social skills, living situation and environment. Why is it that no one understands me, why do I have no contacts and how do I deal with this? These are the most frequently asked questions that these people have.
How do I tackle loneliness?
It is often difficult to do something about loneliness. Usually a certain therapy is offered or in some more serious cases, medication is prescribed. Sometimes this may be necessary, but does the loneliness actually go away, can it come back or is it just suppressed?
It is good to find out for yourself what exactly you are missing in life. Do you perhaps long for a relationship , contacts or recognition in a relationship? Grab a pen and paper and make a plan on how to tackle loneliness. You have to be motivated and never give up! Try to find out what you are missing and what you want to change about it. Write everything down so that you can get rid of the loneliness and fully connect with yourself. Find out what you like to do, what appeals to you, what contacts you like to maintain or perhaps which religion you feel at home with. Find out and do something with this information! If necessary, share them with someone you trust!
Loneliness among housewives
Loneliness is also common among housewives, who sit at home all day to take care of the children and manage the household. It is not easy to always make others happy, and you no longer have time for yourself at all. It takes a lot of strength from a person and it can completely exhaust you. This happens to many women. If you do not take good care of yourself or do not make a hole in the day that is only intended for you, the feeling of emptiness and sadness is common. If the children are at school and your mother is at work, try to take time for yourself and go for a walk with a friend or neighbor. Do you not know anyone in your area yet or have you not yet managed to make new contacts? Then you can always get to know your new neighbors, walk into a shop and during a walk you will always find someone (usually older women) with whom you can have a pleasant exchange.
It is of course important to maintain good contact with your partner. If you feel lonely because you don’t feel recognized or respected, try talking calmly with your partner at a convenient time .
Do you feel like you are talking to a wall and does that only increase your loneliness? Then I recommend that you really change a few things in your life drastically, by which I mean to learn to accept certain aspects and start organizing things yourself.
I don’t make contact easily, why is that?
People who are lonely often isolate themselves from others. They feel ‘not understood’ and therefore do not understand why they do not receive attention from others. An eccentric is sometimes seen as a ‘stranger’ and not as someone who simply feels lonely and would actually like to join in with the rest. People often leave these people alone. When this happens, loneliness often increases. Lonely people seem shy, but they simply don’t want to feel hurt and often don’t take the first step to reach out.
Loneliness can also be a frightening feeling. You want to do fun things, but you don’t dare. You want to go into the crowd, but it seems overwhelming. You want to have a chat with someone, but something is holding you back. These people often hide behind the guise of: I think the crowd is too busy, that’s why I won’t go along. Or: I’m not interested in what people are talking about, so I don’t talk to them.
The trick is to recognize that you have a problem and ask yourself where the cause lies. Are you someone who has often been rejected or perhaps even abandoned in the past? Have your expectations towards others changed?
Tools
Make yourself a questionnaire of feelings and aspects that could be the cause of your loneliness. Try to take initiative in making contacts, conversations and organizations. Read some more informative books so that you know what you’re talking about, so that from now on you know what you’re talking about during a conversation. Try to provide as much information as possible to strengthen your personality.
Learn to understand people so they can understand you too. Listen carefully to people, so that people enjoy having a conversation with you. Make time for yourself and enjoy it, treat yourself every now and then with something tasty or a present and always keep moving!
Organizations
There are all kinds of agencies that help people who struggle with loneliness. The following organizations are committed to eliminating loneliness:
- Coalition Erbij – http://eenzaam.nl/
- National Fund for the Elderly – https://www.ouderenfonds.nl/actueel/eenbaarheid/
- Humanitas – https://www.humanitas.nl/themas/eenbaarheid/
Private initiatives
In addition, there are all kinds of private initiatives (such as Facebook pages and forums) to help lonely people come into contact with each other. On forums you can post a comment in a topic, open a topic yourself to talk about loneliness or even get in touch with people. Please note that you never simply reveal your personal data for your own security and privacy. Some examples of forums:
- http://forum.viva.nl/
- psychologist.net
- shymensen.nl
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