A divorce always brings problems and that is why people usually call in the help of a lawyer. People often break up because of mutual problems. Sometimes just because they have grown apart and each lives his/her own life separately. It’s never easy to break up, but the divorce itself usually adds a number of additional problems. However, it is not necessary that these problems become even greater during the divorce process than they were beforehand. It is important to make good agreements with each other, especially if children are involved in a divorce. So don’t leave everything to the lawyers, but try to reach good agreements together in harmony. Particularly agreements regarding any children, so that they have as little difficulty as possible with the divorce.
Special lawyers for a divorce
Divorce lawyers usually have plenty of work to do. Divorce is usually a difficult process. Frustrations develop in many couples. The partners are then not only sad, but usually also very angry with each other and that does not make it any easier to make good agreements, so that both parties can then go about their business as usual. This can be a drama, especially if there are children, but there is also sometimes a figurative fight to keep a dog, a cat or even a canary.
Lawyers usually do not make divorce any easier
Most couples find it very difficult to arrange the divorce properly themselves and therefore seek the help of a lawyer. Preferably two lawyers: each party usually has its own lawyer. However, this does not always help to reduce disagreement. Often the dispute between both parties becomes even greater.
A lawyer works for the client and for himself
Every lawyer tries to get the most out of the process for his or her own client. The letters to the other party with demands and arguments often follow each other in rapid succession, with the result that the former partners, who are the ones in question, are even more pitted against each other. The terms in which communication takes place are also not always as both partners would wish.
The legal terms used by lawyers often do not lie
Accusations often fly back and forth between the divorcing partners when one of them has received another letter from the other’s lawyer. Logical, because a letter from a lawyer usually does not lie and states clearly, usually in legal terms, what the other person must adhere to. So according to the lawyer! Their client would usually not have expressed the same to his/her partner in such strict language. The result is frustration on both sides. If one bank account or another turns out to have been emptied, the end is over.
Talk to the partner and make reasonable demands
It is therefore wise to continue talking to your partner and to contact him/her if a letter from a lawyer seems a bit harsh or if you do not fully understand the legal terms. Usually there is nothing wrong, or your partner has agreed to a measure that he/she in fact does not agree with.
Don’t try to make it a fight by continuing to talk
Try to keep the conversation about the divorce going in the interests of both parties and especially the children. A contested divorce is the worst thing that can happen to partners and children. It often ruins the relationship forever, making conversation impossible. Not only about the divorce, but also about raising the children, alimony, holidays, and so on.
Pay attention to uncertainty in the children
A contested divorce is disastrous for subsequent relationships. Especially if the partners want to arrange their upbringing together later and both want to maintain contact with their children as best as possible. Children are always the losing party in a divorce. One of their parents is no longer in the house after the divorce. For a child, especially during puberty, this means a loss of some of his or her secure foundation.
Never put down the other partner
It is therefore very important that divorcing parents, in particular, can interact with each other on a normal level during the period of separation and do not criticize each other towards the children. So never speak condescendingly about their father or mother in the presence of the children. Make sure they maintain their respect for the partner.
Annoyance and anger are understandable
Especially for a cheated partner, the divorce can mean a lot of sadness and anger. That is understandable, but be careful to express these feelings in the presence of the children. After all, by constantly showing annoyance and anger towards the other person, the insecure feeling among the children would be exacerbated.
Take extra care with teenagers
If you have children who are just entering puberty, be extra careful, because they are more mentally vulnerable than others. An adolescent is normally very insecure due to the growth of their own body and the hormones that can flare up during that time. The adolescent must hold his/her ground among his/her classmates and must seek balance in the social relationship with the people around him/her.
The feeling that the back support disappears
If the parents divorce, the child suddenly loses the support of both parents, who often have enough problems of their own. It is no wonder that the teenager sometimes throws all house rules overboard and figures out what can distract him or her from the problems. An escape into alcohol, drugs or criminal behavior is not an impossibility.
In the event of a divorce, partners must always continue to discuss matters together, despite their lawyer
It is nice when divorcing partners inform both their lawyers that they want to divorce each other, but later want to raise their children together and therefore do not want to build up major disputes. With a little sense, a lot of good will and the consent of all parties, good agreements can certainly be made.
Talk to the lawyer
So choose lawyers who do not want to ,score, in the legal field, but who strive for a good result for both sides. Indicate during the first conversation that you want a divorce that does justice to both parties. Choosing a joint lawyer who will arrange everything by agreement is therefore also a good decision.
Staying close to each other after the divorce because of the children
If the parent who leaves remains reasonably close to the family, the children can be cared for there in the event of an emergency or illness of the other parent. Regular contact with that parent is also possible. In this way, the grandparents on both sides, aunts and uncles can often maintain contact with the children and family relationships are largely preserved. After a period of changes, the children of divorced parents will once again have a certain foundation under their feet, something that is very important for their further social development.
read more
- Divorce also hits the children involved very hard
- A divorce is often caused by money problems
- Maintaining relationships with others is necessary
- Living independently without a partner, but not being lonely