Lover girls are on the rise. Until now, girls were the victims of loverboys, but nowadays they are also perpetrators themselves and are called lovergirls. Why on earth would they abuse other girls by forcing them to have sex? There are various reasons why they come to do what may have been done to them before, such as loneliness or bullying, or an act of revenge.
We have been aware of the phenomenon of loverboys for some time: boys who persuade or force girls to have sex and earn money from it. A lover boy puts pressure on such a girl by, for example, first giving them presents and later saying that they have to give something in return, or by even threatening them if they are unwilling to ‘work’ for them. Girls are victims of this. But girls are increasingly becoming lovergirls themselves. That’s strange, because they were the victims, right? In this article more about the how and why of the lover girls:
- Lovergirl victim of loverboy
- Friend of lonely girls
- Advantage for the lover girl
- How do you recognize a lover girl?
- What can you do yourself?
- Where can you find help?
- How often does it happen
Lovergirl victim of loverboy
Many lover girls have themselves become victims of a lover boy, and are forced by him to act as ‘girlfriends’ to new victims. A complex role, because is she the perpetrator, or the victim, or both? As a result, such a lover girl hardly reports the crime. And that is a shame, because this prevents these abuses from coming to light and makes it more difficult to tackle and prevent this problem in our society.
Friend of lonely girls
A lover girl can develop friendships with girls who have few friends, are lonely or are even bullied. They are a popular and easy victim of a lover girl. The lover girl is generous with gifts for her ‘girlfriend’, and at puberty many girls are open to that. Looking nice is especially important in high school. Here too, friendship ends in either persuasion into prostitution or pressure to do things the new girlfriend does not want. Threats such as ending the friendship, spreading the word that you are a whore, which could even put you on a banga list, or even assault are often the alternative.
Advantage for the lover girl
The lover girl herself can also benefit from her role. She can again receive gifts or money from her ‘boss’: the lover boy. Yet that is not always the case, or not the only reason why she does it.
How do you recognize a lover girl?
The lover girl can be recognized by the fact that she immediately wants to become friends. That is noticeable, because you usually want to get to know each other better first to see if you really want to become friends. The lover girl also often gives presents very quickly. Because this is not necessary in a friendship, you can quickly recognize it as a possible risk. And she often looks well-dressed, with an expensive smartphone and that kind of luxury. If you know that her parents are not rich, you can imagine that something is wrong. How does she get her nice things, you might wonder?
What can you do yourself?
Recognize the lover girl in time. Be strong and don’t let yourself be forced into things you don’t want. Don’t be too quick to accept presents. Realize that such a friendship was not real. The sooner you recognize it, the sooner you can end the friendship or contact. Hold on to your self-worth, no matter how difficult that may be.
Where can you find help?
First, you can report it to the police. There is also the Stop Loverboys Foundation, where you as a victim of a lover girl can also go. This foundation offers a listening ear, a forum where you can talk anonymously, information and shelter. Founded by a mother whose daughter had fallen into the hands of a lover boy, it shelters victims. But the foundation also offers help to parents who are involved in the lover boys and girls problem through their child.
How often does it happen
The Stop Loverboys Foundation reports that lover girls are involved in as many as 85% of reported cases. So it is a serious situation. There have been cases of girls getting pregnant, having abortions, getting into drugs, or recruiting dozens of girls themselves. So be wary of loverboys and lovergirls!