In the West people are familiar with wedding rituals such as the bachelor party, the wedding (in town hall or church), a reception or party afterwards, and often concluded with a honeymoon. But the way marriage is celebrated in the Western world is not common in other cultures. Various, sometimes bizarre, wedding rituals from other countries and cultures will be discussed, as well as the history and symbolism of marriage itself.
History of marriage
The bridal walk and veil
During marriage it is customary to celebrate a wedding. This word comes from the term bridal run , in which the woman moves from her parental home to her husband’s house. Now her father is no longer the head of the house, but her husband. This transition phase from one man to another and from one house to another is accompanied by (bridal) tears. Wearing the veil was therefore seen as a kind of protection and concealment of these tears.
The ring and gifts
At a wedding, in church or town hall, rings are exchanged between husband and wife. These rings are a symbol of infinity, because the ring is round and therefore has no end. A long and happy marriage is symbolized by the guests’ gifts, which were also called bridal gifts. The same applies to the buffet that is often served, with lots of sweet food (such as an extensive lunch in Italy).
The wedding dress and bridal bouquet
Although all kinds of colors are accepted nowadays, the bride originally wore a white wedding dress. White stood for virginity and purity and a woman who entered into marriage should therefore be a virgin. The bouquet of flowers that she held in her hands is said to reflect certain emotions, for example:
- Orange blossom: contentment and happiness;
- Lilies: virtue;
- Roses: love.
Just as the color of the wedding dress is less important nowadays, less value is also attached to the meaning of a type of flower. The choice is usually based on personal taste or in keeping with the theme of the wedding.
Giving away the bride and cutting the cake
During the bridal walk, the bride ,changes hands, between father and future husband. The father often takes the bride to the altar to ,give her away, to the groom. This therefore comes from the earlier, more businesslike transfer of daughter to future husband. Although the bride used to be literally given away, this is now still done symbolically.
Cutting the cake has to do with fertility. The wedding cake itself represented fertility and eating it would promote fertility. Cutting together could be traced back to togetherness.
Throwing rice and carrying it over the threshold
Throwing rice also sometimes occurs in Western countries, but originally comes from the East. It is a symbol of the absence of want and the impartation of prosperity. Alternatively, balloons are sometimes released, a dove flying, bubbles blown (in the United States) or confetti thrown.
When the bride and groom enter the house for the first time after the party (nowadays people often live together before getting married), the man carries the woman in his arms across the threshold. This is said to be to prevent demons from the woman’s family from entering the house. Carrying the bride across the threshold would confuse the demons and, of course, bring happiness for the newlyweds.
Wedding rituals in other countries and cultures
Mauritania: Fat brides
In Mauritania, women are stuffed with all kinds of food until they vomit. This is also called Leblouh and is intended to make the bride more attractive. Fat women are considered more beautiful than slim women.
Korea: Fish
In Korea it is customary after the wedding to remove the groom’s socks, tie a rope around the ankle and shoe the feet with fish. This would be in preparation for the wedding night.
France: Banging pans and pots
After the wedding, friends and family of the newlyweds go to the couple’s house to make a lot of noise by banging pots and pans and shouting loudly.
Rwanda: Kidnapping
In Rwanda, but also several other countries in Africa and Asia, a woman is often forced to marry. She is also often raped. This is of course not something that is part of a ,normal marriage,, but nevertheless a bizarre event…
Congo: Forbidden to laugh
In Congo it is forbidden to laugh during the entire wedding ceremony.
Africa: Guidance on wedding night
In various villages in Africa, an old woman is asked to accompany the newlyweds to the bedroom to show what needs to be done here. This could be a stranger, but also the bride’s own mother.
Germany: Broken plates
In Germany, guests bring dishes for the new couple, but instead of being able to take them with them to their new home, the dishes are smashed. This is to scare away bad spirits and demons.
India: Stealing shoes
In some parts of India, shoes are taken off before the altar. The family can then try to steal these shoes. The bride’s family tries to steal the groom’s shoes, while the groom’s family tries to prevent this. If the shoes are stolen, the shoes are kept until the groom’s family pays some kind of compensation.
Polynesia: Human Carpet
In the French part of Polynesia, the feet of the bride and groom do not get dirty when leaving the reception. At the end of the party, the bride’s family will lie on the floor so that the newlyweds can walk out on their backs.
China: Bow and arrow
In a certain tribe in China, the groom shoots the bride three times with a bow and arrow before the wedding. Fortunately, the arrows do not have a pointed tip, but are made of rubber. After shooting, the groom breaks the arrows in half, indicating that the marriage is forever.
France: A dirty drink
In France, friends of the couple sometimes collect all the dirt, leftovers, waste, etc. so that the bride and groom can drink it from a toilet bowl after the ceremony. Nowadays, however, chocolate milk is drunk, but also from a toilet bowl.
Sparta: Bald bride
In Sparta, women who marry must shave their heads and dress like a man. They can then be taken away by their future husband.
Sweden: Kissing
In Sweden there is a risk involved in leaving the room to go to the toilet. Once the bride or groom leaves the room, the other guests may kiss whoever remains. So if the bride disappears to the toilet, anyone can kiss the groom. If the groom disappears, anyone can kiss the bride.
Kenya: Spitting
Fathers in Kenya ( among the Massai) spit on the head and breasts of the daughter who is getting married to bless them.
Sudan: Divorce
In southern Sudan it is allowed to divorce a woman if she is unable to have two children. A marriage is not complete without two children.
Fiji: Whale Tooth
It is customary in many countries to ask the daughter’s hand in marriage from the future father-in-law. In Fiji they go one step further: the man must bring a whale’s tooth to offer to the father.
Borneo and Malaysia: Stop peeing
In Borneo and Malaysia, the couple is not allowed to leave the house or go to the toilet for 72 hours before the wedding. The people of the small village keep a close eye on the future bride and groom to prevent cheating.
Korea: Wood ducks
In Korea, the groom asks his friends to carve a wooden duck to bless the marriage.
Mongolia: Chick killing
In Mongolia, the bride and groom must kill a chick at the end of the wedding. They then have to take the chicken apart and assess the liver. It is important to find a good liver, otherwise the ritual will start again.
China: Tears
The bridal tears are already well known, but this is being even more widely practiced in China. A month before the wedding, the bride has to cry for an hour a day. Ten days before the wedding, the bride’s mother must participate, and ten days later the same applies to the grandmother. Ultimately, the idea is for every woman in the bride’s family to help out with the bride. This is to show the tears of happiness.
Scotland: Throwing pitch
In Scotland it is customary at some weddings to fill the bride with all kinds of dirty stuff. Friends are allowed to ,deface, the woman completely and then she is tied to a tree. This so that the bride can handle everything in the marriage.