Flirting is the art of seduction. One person has it in his blood, the other wants it but doubts his flirting abilities. In fact, flirting has been around since prehistoric times, so it’s genetically determined. But how to bring out the seducer within yourself is an issue that still bothers many men and boys. In this article you will find all the ins and outs about flirting, especially for boys.
Why do we flirt?
Flirting is not something we do just for fun. If we were not interested in the opposite sex, we would not reproduce and humanity would become extinct. Instinctively we tend to adhere to the ‘rules’ of flirting, but sometimes major misunderstandings can arise. You can misinterpret a certain look or gesture or you give the wrong signals yourself. This can create tense and uncomfortable situations. Men in particular find it difficult to correctly interpret a woman’s subtle signals and often confuse friendliness with sexual interest. This isn’t because men are stupid. They just tend to approach the world more sexually than women do. Research has shown that women naturally have better social skills than men. Scientists have discovered that women do indeed have a type of communication gene that men lack. But with a little practice, it is also perfectly possible for men to understand those unclear women.
Where can you flirt?
You can flirt in almost any place you can think of, but not all places are equally suitable. Discos, nightclubs and pubs are excellent locations. Flirting is completely permitted during parties and parties, and sports and hobby clubs are also recommended. Schools and universities are locations that are very suitable for flirting. Flirting at work is difficult to categorize. Whether flirting is appropriate here depends on the colleagues and the workplace, and can only be estimated by observing the behavior of colleagues.
What kind of clothes do I wear?
Clothing style is not so much governed by rules, but make sure that the clothes you wear have a good fit. Not too tight, but also not a loose t-shirt. And leave those worn-out sneakers in the closet. No matter how comfortable they may be, they don’t look very neat. Make sure you always look clean and fresh as good hygiene is important and highly appreciated. Don’t overdo it with gel in your hair; it doesn’t have to fit perfectly. If you have a special occasion you can put on a nice aftershave.
How do I flirt?
When it comes to flirting, men in particular tend to think about the verbal aspects. They worry about what to say and what words to use. The fact is that the use of body language, the way you look, move and talk, is much more important. Especially in the early stages of flirting. When someone meets you, her first impression of you is 55% your appearance and body language, 38% how you speak, and only a paltry 5% what you actually say. In addition, expressions and gestures say much more than words. We can say something, but whether we mean it depends entirely on the gestures, posture and expressions that accompany talking. Remember when you start flirting; it’s not about impressing, so no cocky behavior. The idea is to subtly let her know that you like her. If you are shy, know that this is not a bad thing and can even work to your advantage. Machos who think they can get anyone are considered arrogant, annoying and anything but attractive by most girls.
Look, but don’t stare
Your eyes are your most important flirting supplies. Because making eye contact is so intense, we often limit it to short glances. Precisely because it is so intense, making eye contact while flirting is so important. Even in a crowded room at a party, you can tell an attractive person standing yards away that you like her by holding her gaze for a while. An important warning about making eye contact; look, but don’t stare. If you stare she will feel very uncomfortable and she is unlikely to look back. The best thing you can do is this: you make eye contact, hold her gaze for about 3 seconds, and then look away. How do you know if she is interested in you? If she looks away for a moment and then makes eye contact with you again. It is completely clear when she also smiles. If she doesn’t look back or you couldn’t hold her gaze, she might not be interested. There’s also a possibility that she’s simply too shy to make eye contact.
Keep your distance
The distance between you and her is important when flirting, because if you don’t take it too closely it can become a very awkward situation. Moreover, the distance she takes herself can make you wiser about her feelings and reactions towards you. If you get too close, and it doesn’t matter whether it is frontally or to the side, you will notice this in different signals. Your target may turn away or avoid eye contact. Folded arms, tightly crossed legs and massaging the neck with the elbow pointed in your direction are also signs that you are getting too close. If you want to approach her properly, you should pay attention to the following: first you need to know whether she is at all interested in you by making eye contact. Try to make eye contact again from about 2 meters away before moving closer. If you are two steps away from her you are on the border between the social zone and the personal zone. Remember that different people may react differently to distance. If your target is Mediterranean or from Latin America, she will feel more comfortable than someone from the north. The same applies to introverts and extroverts, the first group feels less comfortable than the other.
The power of the touch
One person is more physically inclined than the other, but it is wise to be careful when touching her. Touching someone is a subtle, but very powerful form of communication. Women are generally more sensitive to touch than men. Men are quick to think that a woman’s touch is a sexual invitation. So as a man, be cautious. The arm is a good, safe place to touch her. If she doesn’t like it, you’ll see that soon enough; when she pulls her arm away, creates distance or turns away. If she likes you, she may show signs like making more eye contact, moving closer to you, smiling more, etc.
Opening lines and conversation topics
Although flirting relies largely on body language, it does require a certain amount of conversational skills. If anything is a brainteaser, it’s the way you address a woman; the opening sentence. Hundreds of opening sentences have already been devised. Men speculate as to which worked and which did not, and women laugh when a man comes up with a forced or strange opening line. We would prefer to come up with the perfect, most original opening line, but the solution to this problem is in fact a very simple one. Don’t rack your brain trying to think of a perfect opening line; the best opening lines are the ones that are known to be conversation starters. When you say: nice weather, eh? everyone knows that you want to start a conversation. But what if you are sitting indoors, for example in a disco or bar, then it is of course difficult to start talking about the weather. In this
case, you need to find inspiration in your environment. What a crowd here or what great music they play here, don’t you think? have the same principle as the weather talk. You don’t have to be witty or funny at all. A vague comment made in a questioning manner is perfectly sufficient. Since it’s not a personal comment, it’s easy for her to respond. Don’t ask direct, open questions like: What do you think of the food here? because then it sounds like a demand. You can tell by her response whether she wants to converse with you. In general, the longer the response, the better. Even if she uses I it is positive, if she includes I and you in her answer it is completely fine. So just try to start a conversation, and don’t think about flirting. What the conversation is about is not important, as long as it is about an interesting topic and you do not radiate negativity by complaining about anything and everything. Giving a compliment is certainly welcome. Like the opening line, it doesn’t have to be original or witty, as long as it is sincere. Some examples are: You’re wearing a nice jacket, or that necklace looks nice on you. Don’t overdo the amount of compliments as she will get bored of them. Keep a compliment simple and don’t go on and on, because a compliment can also go wrong and be taken as insulting or embarrassing. Using humor during a conversation can work great as a flirting tool, but on the other hand, it can also work against you. Research has shown that humor can create a pleasant, relaxed atmosphere. On the other hand, a wrong attempt at humor can cause a flirt to fall completely dead. To avoid that, as a guy you have to be careful not to use too much humor, as this is the mistake most men make. She doesn’t have to lie under the table laughing. Do not use vulgar or crude humor, as this is often not considered funny. A comment like Nice weather outside, while it is pouring rain, can already raise a smile.
A listening ear
Good listening does not mean that you have to keep your mouth shut and listen silently to what the other person is saying. A good listener provides feedback, consisting of verbal and non-verbal signals. You do this to make it clear to the other person that you are interested and that you are really listening. Nodding, smiling and an attentive look on your face are non-verbal signals that you can give as feedback. You can give verbal feedback through expressions such as ah, yes, mmm. Here you indicate whether you agree or disagree and encourage the other person to continue talking. Listening is very important when flirting. Scientific research has shown that giving good feedback while listening works in making friends and influencing people.
Listen to your instincts and don’t worry if a girl rejects you, because there are still plenty of nice girls left! Have fun!