Is friendship taken too seriously or not seriously enough? There are plenty of songs and sayings about it. But what about friends?
What is true friendship?
A definition could be: Friendship is the relationship between people where gender is not important. A friendship is therefore possible between a man and a woman, but also between two men or two women., In reality it is much more complex; what one person calls friendship, another might call ‘a good acquaintance’. You also do not speak always say to someone that you feel like a friend or consider the other person as your friend. Children usually do that: ,Would you like to be my friend?, Adults usually hesitate to say it. And then it can be that two people have a different idea of their relationship with each other.
Friends for life
Friendship is something special, but it can arise from a chance meeting. Actually very special are the friendships that were created as a child and that last throughout life. Although people who have such a relationship consider it very normal. You don’t have to see or talk to a friend every day, but when you do speak or see each other again, you almost always pick up the thread immediately. Not awkward or not knowing what to say. It usually goes without saying.
There are also relationships that do not last a lifetime
As soon as you really consider someone as your friend, there is usually a certain expectation attached to it. For example: You are friends through thick and thin and we will always remain so, no matter what happens. But, is that always the case? Does everyone apply the same ‘code of honor’ or do you expect that someone you see as your friend has the same norms and values as you? That is almost impossible.
Sayings and songs about friendship
There are plenty of songs and sayings about friendship, but what do we expect from friends?
This piece for example:
Friendship is an illusion; Friendship is a dream
A package of scrap metal with a thin layer of chrome.
Is friendship indeed an illusion, something we tell ourselves? This is not about acquaintances who sometimes fade into the background due to our busy lives. Of course, it sometimes happens that you really want to call or visit someone, but you simply don’t have the time. Let’s talk about ‘real’ friends. These should be people who will always be there for you; that you think you can always fall back on. But just like in the song, we look at what exactly the other person would give for friendship: ‘I still had 1 card from him. It is not stated what the person did for it. What matters is that you are also interested in his or her well-being.
When it happens that the person you consider your best friend suddenly drops you, you feel hurt. Of course you don’t expect real friends to do that. That’s how it sounds in the next song (Dionne Warwick)
For good times and bad times. I’ll be on your side forever more, That’s what friends are for.
This means that when things are going well and it’s fun, but also when you’re feeling down and therefore less fun and sociable, you can count on your friends.
Especially when you need a friend.
After a move it sometimes remains strangely quiet, even though you had ‘agreed’ to call each other often. Of course you should also want to take the initiative yourself, but if you are always the only one who does this, at some point you will stop. Even more often after a divorce, friends suddenly hear little or nothing at all. As a single person you no longer fit in with your circle of friends. Or maybe you are ‘less sociable’ after your divorce. It is especially painful during a divorce. You lose so much and could use some attention and fun. The feeling that people you have trusted all your life are also letting you down is doubly hard. Apparently the friendship was worth little AND you are REALLY alone.
A few more sayings about friendship:
- Some friends are like the shadows: you only see them when the sun shines.
- Many who speak of friendship mean conviviality.
- No one is so rich that he can let go of a friend.
That last one is a very important one! Can you let a friend down? It happened quickly, but afterwards you sometimes cannot simply repair the break . Bringing it up is sometimes very difficult; how should you go about it? Will you call, or is it easier to email and do that right away or maybe tomorrow? Then don’t forget this well-known saying: tomorrow never comes .
True friends exist
Perhaps you feel that you yourself were the cause and you ‘failed’ to speak up when it was expected of you. Get over it if you still find the friendship special. After all, a true friend will ultimately support you through thick and thin and want to understand you. You give yourself that special bond, don’t you? Don’t set the bar too high for yourself and your friends. But do speak out if a friend has hurt you, perhaps unintentionally. Friends exist if you want them to!