Cremation wins over burial. However, with the cemeteries, the texts that keep the dead alive also disappear. Or does the Internet offer a solution here too?
Burial versus cremation
Burial runs out. Cremation is hot. Even the Islamic faith with its funeral regulations cannot prevent the burial of the dead in our regions from gradually falling into disuse. Since 2003, more Dutch people have been cremated than buried. The Christian faith no longer objects to cremation, fewer and fewer people attend church and the space occupied by cemeteries ultimately makes burial less attractive economically.
Habits and customs slowly give way to innovations. When it comes to the funeral of our dead, it appears that a new spirit of the times and the views of new generations are in favor of cremation. Many people find it stylish, appropriate and hygienic; even the business aspect appeals to many. Burial is associated with sadness, funeral march, black suits and soggy cake. Cremation conjures up images of good memories, personal choice of music and a casual reception with tapas and wine. Greetings everyone! wrote Ronald Giphart above the column dedicated to his late mother. With his death in prospect, Jan Wolkers called it a bath of warmth. That sounds better than the cold ground. The writers follow Multatuli’s example. He was the first Dutch person to be cremated, on February 23, 1887. However, this happened in Gotha, Germany, because cremation was not yet allowed in the Netherlands. It was not a cheerful affair at the pioneer ceremony. There was no speaking during the surprise, according to the Multatuli encyclopedia. Multatuli wrote about his preference for cremation over burial: I have greeted with joy the movement that has since emerged for the burning of bodies. It is a pity that the proponents of this improvement have to contend with so many difficulties. (..) The matter is of a hygienic nature, oh certainly! But it is no less so for the minds of the living than for their bodies. That poisonous fumes rise from cemeteries is also completely true as a figure of speech.
Cremation through the ages
Cremation has been more and less popular throughout history. Long before Christ, cremation was the most common way to deal with the dead. In films such as Troy and The Odyssey we see how the fallen Greek heroes have a coin placed on each eyelid to pay the ferryman from the realm of the dead before the torch is placed in the pyre. Among the Romans, adults were cremated and children were buried. Christians, however, believed and believe in the resurrection of the body. Charlemagne banned cremation. Heretics and witches were burned at the stake. With Christianization, cremation disappeared as an official disposal of the dead. That is noticeable to this day. In Southern Europe, burials are predominantly carried out, while cremations occur more often as you move to the less Catholic North.
In the Netherlands, from 1914 onwards people could go to the Westerveld crematorium in Velsen for cremation. There was no rush. In 1950, only two percent of the deceased were cremated. Only when legal objections were overcome and cultural barriers were broken down in the decades that followed did the relative share of cremations in our country increase. Since 1968, cremation has been equated with burial by law. It then took another 35 years before they became two equivalent options in practice.
From grave text to condolence site
Cemeteries include epitaphs and grave poems. Not every grave has an artistic epitaph, but many use the opportunity of a gravestone text to provide a description of the deceased or to leave a message to the surviving relatives. Cemeteries are open archives; they record, some for a long time, others only until their end, a spirit of the times and culture.
Here rests…, and then the name, date of birth and date of death of the deceased. It is the standard text on a gravestone. Often an edifying message or life wisdom is also carved into it. There are many variations beyond that. For example, the cynical Non fui, fui, non sum, non curo, Latin for: I wasn’t there. I was there. Now I’m gone. And I don’t care. Or the drier humor of Here lies a treasure buried, or Your text could have been here. Traditionally, there is also the text that refers to the profession of the deceased, such as Here he rests on the gravestone of a civil servant.
Zerk texts, they come in many types; short, long, cheerful, dejected, cryptic and poetic. However, where do you place an epitaph if the dead person has been cremated? A name and date can just be put on an urn. Does a separate website serve a function for this? In addition to the photos of the cremation, the obituary of the deceased and the reactions of relatives can be placed on a website. In this way, recording and preserving as an aid in grieving and processing grief and keeping the deceased in memory are guaranteed in a modern way. The condolence site is on the rise and not just for public figures. There are layout sites for obituary notices. It won’t be long before there will also be placement sites for obituaries. The next step is the development of memorial sites, where the deceased can be commemorated in all modesty or in all glory. Funeral organizations will, must, increasingly computerize and digitize.
Virtual survival
Due to the possibilities of the Internet, life and death are becoming increasingly intertwined. Although death remains an unwanted visitor and obituaries invariably affect us, the distance from death has decreased. New media play a major role in this. There are various portals and specific websites in relation to dying, death and funerals. People ask for information, are curious and want to be able to plan and arrange matters surrounding their own death. For example, there is the digital inheritance file; all information for relatives at a glance. But people have more personal ties to the Internet, such as their own website or an avatar. An avatar is a digital alter ego, an image or figure that represents you on the Internet. The concept of avatar is an old one. In Hinduism, avatars are strong beings, incarnations of gods, immortal and responsible for the peace and balance in the universe. Suppose you die, isn’t it a reassuring and encouraging thought in advance that your avatar will continue to exist? Now that’s a second life. You can record this wish in your will. Your avatar will be adopted by a friend or family member, or managed by a specially appointed Internet professional. Instead of a grave visit with flowers, relatives can visit your avatar on the Internet. It is not inconceivable that avatars of the living and the dead communicate with each other.
Doomed
Are burying the dead and describing graves doomed? Will cremation and the Internet become the new tradition and the new medium? The signs of the times indicate so. People don’t visit graves anymore. Cemeteries are no longer designed by famous architects. Many people want to determine in their own way how they die and what happens to them afterwards. Death itself individualizes. Cremation and the Internet offer options for this. All kinds of creative wishes can be fulfilled with the ashes of the deceased. We already know about spreading on land or water. Recently, spreading across the city by means of a flare was added. Furthermore, for those who want and can afford it, ash tubes are placed in low orbit; after two days they burn up in the atmosphere. Subsequently, a demand will arise to be able to be spread in space. Other options include incorporating the ashes into art, such as jewelry and paintings. This is being applied on a growing scale. And when the last taboos in this area have been removed in the future, the possibility will also arise to process the ashes in, for example, sex paraphernalia, the material from which the house robot is made, or even in chocolates. All this for consideration, provided the deceased was dear to you, of course.
On the Internet you are kept alive as if you were dead. You can choose a static site with personal information, photos and videos. But you can also have an interactive website set up that develops as a self-learning system. The system is filled with all known characteristics of the deceased. Depending on the interaction that the system, the deceased, has with the visitors to the site, the dead person leads a gloomy or cheerful, curious or withdrawn life. Special effects ensure lifelike image connection, voice formation and reactions. Just like usual. Our individualized high-tech service society extends from the cradle to the grave. And further. People become virtually immortal and professional facilities are created to ease or even completely suppress the grieving process. Death is changeable like life. In fact, death lives.