To raise. Every parent does it with all their heart and soul, and tries to raise their children to the best of their ability. There are no significant problems with the majority of the children. Oh well, every child is loud sometimes, and every child sometimes shouts ,I’m looking for another mother, when he doesn’t get his way in the supermarket. There are also parents and children for whom things are a bit more difficult and difficult. And in the 60s and 70s parents still turned to Dr Spock, after which free education reigned supreme. The child learned through his environment what was and was not desirable behavior, with all the consequences that entailed. Now there are more and more centers for neighborhood and family that work according to the Positive Pedagogical Program, Triple P, which works with 5 basic principles.
- Provide a safe and pleasant environment
- Learning through encouragement
- Provide ground rules.
- Keep your expectations realistic.
- Tickle yourself
Provide a safe and pleasant environment
This seems so simple, but take a critical look around your own home. Can a child be ,taken care of, at any time, without you having to act like an idiot to wipe cat hairs off the carpet? When your four-year-old plays with his cars in the room, can he play quietly, or does he have to take into account all kinds of knickknacks on those cute side tables? Is the environment adapted to your child, or does the child have to adapt to the environment?
Learning through encouragement
,A friendly face always brings light, is a sentence that also applies here. Then get used to the moment when your child does something good, to smile at him for a moment. Both you and your child feel If you have taught your child step by step to tie their own shoelaces, then that is a skill that you can both be proud of. And that can also be recognized by a compliment. Both for the parent and for the child. child. It does not cost money to encourage children to solve their problems independently, and a compliment does not cost money either.
Provide ground rules
Knowing where you stand gives you peace of mind. This provides peace and clarity, both for parent and child. And so you provide basic rules, but you also live by those rules yourself. And then you can think of basic rules regarding communication and behavior. This way you teach your children how to just talk to each other, how to have a discussion with each other, and how to determine together what is and is not acceptable as a time to come home from the cafe. And that it is not acceptable to scream like a madman and tear through the shops with a shopping cart, to see how often you can unexpectedly collide with another shopping cart.
Keep your expectations realistic
Nobody expects that Claartje will immediately be able to give a concert in the concert hall after her first recorder lesson at the age of 6. And you also don’t expect Ramon(4) to win the Tour de France if he rides around for 2 hours without training wheels. Oh, Ramon (4) and Claartje could do that in the future, but not yet. Be realistic about that. Make sure you know what to expect from your children.
Also make sure that you are realistic in your expectations of yourself. If you hate cooking, then you are not the one who should be baking cookies with 4 children. There is a good chance that after an hour and a half the dough will be against the windows, and the children will be standing with white faces looking at that mom who is walking around all stressed out.
Tickle yourself
Parenting is influenced by all kinds of different influences. If you have to make ends meet on a low income and you have no job security, this causes tension. If you are primarily responsible for caring for your mother who broke her hip, this brings with it concerns. Tension and worries influence the way you can fulfill your role as a parent. For that reason it is important to tickle yourself. The better you take care of yourself, the better you will be able to take care of your children.