The answer to the question ‘how do you live a good life?’ has intrigued philosophers throughout the ages. And the question is still being asked. As simple as it seems, the answer is apparently much less simple. Or it’s so vague that it can go either way, including the wrong way. For a while people thought that man just had to follow his nature, but now we think we are a blank slate. With all the freedom to shape our lives ourselves. In the meantime, this presents us with new problems.
A good life
In ethics and philosophy you can again ask the question: How to live a good life? How do you find a balance? Although it remains a vague domain, without certainties. Greek antiquity offers crystal-clear answers:
- Plato (427-347 BC): Man is a spiritual being .
- Aristotle (384-322 BC): it’s about the right middle. You have to find the answer yourself in your situation . Train yourself in the (degree of) friendliness, bravery, reliability, etc. that suits you.
- Epicures (341-270 BC): find a balance in enjoyment .
Human nature
All three of these ancient philosophers derived their answers from human nature; according to them, that is where the answer lies. Until the 16th century, people had a clear idea of this. But today we no longer believe in the existence of human nature; that is, a man who simply follows his nature. We think that we are a blank slate, completely free, a tabula rasa. All the choices we make are our own business. We can shape our lives ourselves. Everything is possible and allowed.
Total freedom
We can interpret this in two ways, on the positive side it offers us enormous freedom, on the other hand we can experience this as a yawning void. If everything is possible and allowed, what guides us, what is our guideline? There are few people who can handle this. They like to hear what they should do, want to know where they stand, what others can advise them, what is the best way to tackle something, to achieve something. They even like to hear that they are on the right track. Because when things go wrong, and that happens regularly, they have two options: continue or try something else and start all over again.
Take care of yourself
The answer to the question: How should I live? is always and different for everyone. You have to teach yourself an attitude, shape your own life, based on self-care, from within yourself (self-care)! The French thinker PM Foucault (1926-1984) was surprised that ethics is only about care for others. And he wondered: Why don’t we take care of ourselves? Isn’t that hypocritical? Don’t we think about ourselves all the time? If you skip yourself, what does caring for others mean? Who says you’re not authoritarian?
Quarter life crisis
The excess of choices, possibilities, and freedom leads to a youth that is ,early mature, late mature,, believes Christien Brinkgreve, professor of social sciences. And that can lead to a quarter life crisis. Young people must learn discipline in the jobs they have besides their studies, because they are no longer taught this by their parents or teachers. They have been given complete freedom and therefore have only themselves as a compass.
Emotions
Without boundaries and clear hierarchy, and with divorcing parents, youth are faced with intense emotions much earlier. If you feel safe and sure of yourself, if your parents are your role models and have taught you discipline, values and norms, you will stand firm in life and will not be easily blown away. If you miss this in your upbringing, you will not know what to do with difficult situations. After all, everything was always good, no matter what you did. But suddenly you are confronted with setbacks and you are not prepared for them. And the parents you thought you could rely on have their own problems.
Can you prevent a quarter life crisis in your children? Which can:
- As a parent, respond to what a child can handle at a certain age.
- Raise your child instead of leaving him completely free.
- Set limits, such as: you may spend a maximum of x hours behind the PC / in front of the TV.
Discipline
Giving your children over to total freedom, without teaching them any discipline, is a form of not interfering in their lives, whether through indifference, laziness or fear of a bad relationship. You don’t prepare them for life, even though that is your job as a parent. You let them fend for themselves without supporting them. As a parent you remain passively on the sidelines. You may have a good relationship with your children, but you are not offering them a solid foundation for a life in which a lot is expected of them. Children like to have boundaries, even if it is only to kick against them; to debate why something should or should not be done. So that they can form their own critical judgment about it.
Critical attitude
In all other relationships, the art of living also advocates a critical attitude, not social indifference! You can also correct your friends. Lure them out of the tent and ask: what are you doing?! Have the courage to be open, dare to give your opinion, dare to disagree. You don’t have to be ashamed or afraid of interference, as long as it doesn’t come from selfishness or arrogance. You will know whether that is the case if you are open to question marks and criticism.
Contents
Life is not total freedom. Mistakes, mistakes, injuries, they are part of it. That’s exactly what you learn from. Consult yourself, reflect, ask advice from objective friends or advisors. You’re never too old for it. The art of living is not age-related. Questions like ,what can I do, what do I want?, remain current for the rest of your life. It implies a dynamic, substantive interpretation of your life. The art of living is a sustainable matter.