This article is part of a series of articles about ‘dating the wrong person,’ in other words: wrong men and wrong women. Unfortunately, there are many people in the world with whom it is better not to have a relationship. For example, the man with loose hands abuses his partner, while the misogynist often works on his victims through psychological means. The mama’s boy is a completely different type of man. He cannot grow up and that is why his own sweet mommy is his ideal woman. The mama’s boy is a man who has never managed to separate himself from his mother. He is looking for a woman who resembles his mother and who can take her place, but she can never really replace his mother. My mother is a wonderful woman. The perfect woman for me? She just has to look like my mother…
There are of course also women who are looking for a father figure. ‘My father is my hero. I’m looking for a man who looks like my daddy.’ If you, as a partner, go on such a date, you have the feeling that you are up against an impossible competitor. After all, you can never replace your date’s father or mother.
Mother’s boy
When we hear the word ‘mother’s boy’ we often picture a man who cannot live without his mother, or a child who is very dependent on his mother. The mama’s boy as an adult man often still lives at home or his mother comes to clean his apartment every week. She regularly brings a pan of soup or he goes home for dinner every evening. She still washes and irons his clothes and pampers him. He’s her big hairy baby. This type of man may be emotionally insecure, discusses everything with his mother and she decides what is good and bad for him. The chance that his mother will welcome you with open arms is therefore small. She cannot yet let go of her son and the relationship with her son is so intertwined with her daily life that she sees him as her personal property and does not like to ‘give him up’ to another woman. If you cook for him, he mumbles: You cooked quite nicely, not bad or anything, but no one can make meatballs as tasty as my mother. It
might be best to put a diaper on these types of men and send them home. If you don’t want to lose him, he will have to make it clear to his mother that he is an adult and that he wants to move on in life with you and that he can take care of himself very well. If the mother understands, everything will be fine. But sometimes professional help may be needed.
The misogynist
All women are after money and they want to set you up. Yeah, not you, but all my ex-girlfriends were like that.
Men who unconsciously or consciously hate women often do not have a good relationship with their mother. Their distrust of women appears to be great. They usually don’t have a good word to say about their exes. They were all witches and he was their victim. But hey, you’re not his mother or his ex. However, such men see their mother or their ex in every woman, so the question is whether you can grow beyond that.
The man hater
‘Men are no good. There are no trustworthy men. All men are the same and they only want one thing: sex!’
Some women have a deep-seated hatred of men. They tar all men with the same brush and find a man threatening in advance. Other man haters actively enter into relationships with men, only to make them fall in love, strip them financially and then drop them like a stone. There is then an element of ‘enjoying power’ involved. This can have several causes.
Some feminists used to have a habit of spouting their bile about ‘the essence’ of man. Of course, it was all part of the process of women wanting to gain equal rights. Yet sometimes it seemed like man-hating. Certain women were so over-confident in their belief that men were scary and dangerous that they would start sobbing whenever a man dared to come near them. This somewhat excessive behavior has been normalized quite quickly and men and women have grown closer and our current society treats men and women a lot more equally than before, although it is still not perfect.
Loose hands, hitting, abuse
Men who hit are a disaster. Domestic violence is common. Statistics show that men who hit once tend to keep hitting. A man who hits has no self-control, a short fuse, and loose hands. Or he wants to gain and keep you completely under his control. Fear is an excellent tool to literally bend people to your will. Men who hit are so-called bad men. Choose a man who knows how to use his hands in a better way. A man who hits and wants to seek professional help to stop is on the right track.
Addicted
Addicted partners, addicted to alcohol, drugs or gambling, are always busy with withdrawal, while in the meantime they still use drugs or alcohol or gambling tables. Living with an addict is unbearable. Ending the relationship is the only sensible thing to do. An addict cares more about his/her addiction than about the family.
Looking for a nice date
If you are looking for a nice date, you have to be a little wary. What do you know about this person? What do others think of him or her? Listen to your intuition on first impressions and take the time to really get to know someone before getting too carried away with romantic feelings. Listen to your friends and family, they may see more than you see as long as you still wear rose-colored glasses.
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- Finding true love. How do you find true love?