There are many different types of questions. We have open questions and closed questions, but there are also many differences within them. What kind of question you ask depends on your goal. Think in advance about what you want to achieve with a question, and consider what possible responses you might receive. Compare different strategies and choose the questions that give you the best chance of achieving your goal.
Closed questions
These are questions that you can answer yes or no. The question starts with a verb:
- Do you understand?
- Do you agree with me?
- Would you like to call me back about that later?
If you are looking for a clear answer, a closed question is very suitable. By asking closed questions you gain clarity, certainty and you can check whether the other person has understood you. The topic of conversation is defined and there is little room to wander off into a side track. Closed questions are purposeful, and therefore suitable for determining the direction of a conversation, providing structure and checking whether you can move on to the next topic. Closed questions can also be used to open a conversation, to put the other person at ease or to indicate that something difficult is about to happen.
- Do you want something to drink?
- Did you get along well?
- Have you got a moment?
Open questions
Open questions start with an interrogative pronoun: Who, which, how, what, when, why, etc. Here you can no longer suffice with a simple yes or no as an answer. Open questions are intended to get the other person talking.
- How did that happen?
- What happened?
- What is going on?
The other person now gets the chance to tell his story. So you use open questions if you want to find out more about the other person. The answer is personal, provides a lot of information and provides insight into the other person’s living and thinking world. Asking open questions helps develop a good understanding. Only ask open-ended questions if you really want to know the answer and if you have time for a conversation. Be careful with the word Why . A question that starts with Why quickly sounds accusatory and puts the other person on the defensive.
Suggestive questions
A leading question is a question that already contains (part of the answer) and reveals which answer the questioner wants to hear.
- What color beard did that gentleman have?
Maybe the gentleman had no beard at all. By asking this question this way, you can easily influence children or witnesses, for example. The suggestion is made that the gentleman had a beard. The chance that the other person will now answer: he had no beard is small. He is more likely to say: I believe a gray One.
Although leading questions are generally inadvisable, they are useful in certain cases. For example, if you want to persuade someone or if you are looking for confirmation.
- We’re here to help you, right?
- Don’t you think this is the best way?
- Which of these people did that?
If you are looking for the truth, leading questions are not recommended.
The disguised message
- You don’t object to that, do you?
- I hope you like Chinese?
- You don’t object to overtime, do you?
- You can do that for a while, right?
You already notice that these are not real questions. Rather, they are friendly packaged communications. You have to be well prepared and confident to give an honest answer to these types of questions. So ask these kinds of questions if you want to get your way and don’t want any contradiction.
Choice questions
These fall into the category of closed questions. You now do not answer yes or no, but with one of the options offered:
- Do you want coffee or tea?
- Do you prefer to work in the evenings or on weekends?
- Are you submitting that article today or tomorrow?
You already notice that there is a certain coercion emanating from a choice question. Maybe you prefer to drink water, you like to work during the day during the week, and you don’t want to hand in the article until a week from now. Here, as with the veiled statement, you have to be quite assertive to give an honest answer.
Use a choice question if you want to limit the options, if you want clarity or if you want to maintain control.
Counter questions
You ask a counter question in response to a question that you do not want or cannot answer directly.
- Why do you ask that?
- What do you mean?
You ask counter questions to buy time, maintain or regain control, or to clarify ambiguities. A special type of counter-question is the rhetorical question. A rhetorical question places the responsibility for thinking on the other person, and suggests that the answer is already known.
- What do you think?
Control questions
A check question is intended to find out whether you have understood each other correctly. A good control question is not suggestive and gives the other person the opportunity to disagree with you. A control question can be open or closed.
- Is that right?
- How does that come across to you?
A pitfall is that an audit question can be asked suggestively.
- So you agree with me that…?
Control questions are a suitable way to avoid or break a monologue, for example if your conversation partner is not very talkative or if you have a lot to explain.
Ask yourself in advance what you want to achieve in a conversation. Do you want to know more, sell something, be proven right, get your way or check whether the other person understands you? Which question type you choose depends on your goal.
Asking a question implies waiting for an answer. Don’t give that answer yourself, but actively listen to the other person.