When you think of December, you quickly think of the holidays. Christmas and New Year’s Eve are seen as fun days where friends, family and good food seem to come first. Yet there are many people who dread the holidays, for example because of the idea of having to join in with the rest or because of a feeling of loneliness. This feeling also occurs with other holidays, especially Valentine’s Day on February 14, of course, but also Easter. Sinterklaas on December 5 is mainly celebrated by families. For families with (young) children, this celebration is often preceded by the laying of the shoe and on Sinterklaas evening, Zwarte Piet delivers a bag of presents. Everyone can unwrap a present one by one while enjoying sweets and singing songs.
During the December holidays, most people mainly think of Christmas and New Year’s Eve. This is because Sinterklaas is mainly a children’s party. This article therefore focuses further on these holidays, because they can cause mixed feelings (more about that later).
Standard interpretations of Christmas and New Year’s Eve
December 24 is Christmas Eve. The Christmas atmosphere has usually already been in the house for a long time: the Christmas tree is decorated with the nativity scene underneath, there is a nativity scene with figurines and furthermore, some knick-knacks are often hung in the rest of the house that make the Christmas atmosphere even more present by the cozy lights from candles, for example. Christmas cards are also sent with best wishes for the holidays and the new year. In the past, most Dutch people went to church on Christmas Eve and then gathered with family. Nowadays, church is often skipped, but people still meet with family and/or friends to unwrap presents or have a tasty bite to eat. The tradition of gifts came over from America, but in the Netherlands the traditional turkey is often replaced by a gourmet dish. On Christmas Day (25 December) and 26 December, good food, family and friends are often central. Sitting inside, watching old films and dining lavishly is part of Christmas. Young people often go out on Boxing Day, so that they can see all their friends (and of course it is an extra evening to go out!).
Celebrating New Year’s Eve is quite similar to celebrating Christmas: even now, being together is central and this is completed with good food, watching annual overviews on television, playing a game and then many young people go out. The bars and discos either choose to be open all evening so that people can have a nice meal there and ring in the new year together, or they choose to only open after midnight because many people are getting older and older. also want to celebrate new at home. It is tradition to start the night out late (or early): hardly anyone talks about going home before 4 o’clock. In addition, the tradition of lighting fireworks should not be forgotten! Families often gather on New Year’s Day.
Mandatory traditions and expectations
The holidays are fun for many people, but there are also many people who dread them. This is because there is a standard image of how those holidays should be organized. However, not everyone likes that interpretation. There are many people who do not dare to express this, because they are afraid of being seen as an outsider or something. There are plenty of young people who don’t feel like staying so late when they go out for New Year’s Eve. They have had it at some point or want to be fit enough to visit family the next day. There are also people who do not like mandatory (family) visits. If your entire Christmas holiday is fully planned for this, there are plenty of people who dread it or even get grumpy about it. That feeling is often combined with being irritated by all the fuss around the holidays: people think, just act normal, you’re acting crazy enough! A striking example of this is the Happy New Year wishes with the accompanying kisses. When you’re out and about, everyone kisses each other, whether you even know each other or whether you normally say hello to each other doesn’t matter. On the one hand, this can be fun and lead to new (friendly) contacts, but it can also come across as hypocritical or fake.
Loneliness, especially during the holidays in December
There are also people who dread the holidays even though they enjoy the associated rituals. In that case it is about the lonely feeling that Christmas can cause. If you have few friends, you might wish you had friends to go out with for a long time. Many singles also dread the holidays, because they would find it more fun to spend the holidays with a loved one. You then have a buddy to go with you everywhere and who also provides activities to do. In addition, there is of course the romantic image, especially at Christmas, and that can be disturbing for single people.
What can you do if you’re dreading the holidays?
What you can do to have fun days at Christmas and New Year depends on the reason why you don’t feel like the holidays. In any case, it is important to just talk about it honestly with family and/or friends. There is a good chance that someone else recognizes it and does not feel like certain traditions or that person also sometimes feels lonely during the holidays. In that case you have a fellow sufferer and otherwise you at least have someone to talk to about it and who may be able to support you.
Furthermore, try not to worry too much about the expectations, traditions and (expected) opinions of others: think about yourself a little on those days and celebrate it the way you like, or else just don’t celebrate it!