One in five elderly people in care homes are bullied. The older the wiser does not always apply. When it comes to bullying, older adults exhibit the same behavior at approximately the same rate as children. Bullying by the elderly can take all kinds of forms and is difficult to combat because the understanding of what the elderly do to others is no longer always clear. Bullying is not always intended as such, and a sense of humor can be very different.
Ignore and exclude
Bullying behavior manifests itself, among other things, in ignoring people or excluding people from activities such as eating meals together. It happens that people place a bag on the seat next to them to prevent certain people from sitting on it. Newcomers to a care home who are just looking for a place somewhere are chased away. Another way to exclude people is, for example, when going on an outing, not to allow those who use a walker to come along because it will stop soon.
Also physical bullying
It also happens that people are skipped for coffee or do not get a cake when it is someone’s birthday. Also common are gossip matches where comments are posted just loud enough for the victim to hear them. Not greeting back can lead to months of not speaking to each other, even if the greeting was not heard through a forgotten hearing aid. Sometimes very hurtful comments are made straight to the face. But physical bullying also occurs, such as kicking under the table or colliding with a walker to hurt others. Many elderly people do not have the courage to come forward about being bullied and the staff does not always notice it due to a high workload.
Bullying protocol of the National Fund for the Elderly
Just as the problem of parental abuse, which emerged a few years ago, has been tackled, a protocol will also have to be introduced to combat bullying. That is why the National Fund for the Elderly has drawn up a pest protocol for all residential care complexes in the Netherlands. This protocol is intended as a guideline to tackle and prevent bullying of the elderly. The Bullying Protocol was developed in collaboration with, among others, the Dealing with Bullying Foundation and Radboud University, which conducted research into bullying behavior. Some anti-bullying programs such as those developed for schools served as the basis for the protocol.
Confidential advisor
Schools often have a protocol for dealing with bullying where the policy is aimed at both the victims and the perpetrators. The starting point for the National Fund for the Elderly was that the policy focuses less on victims and perpetrators than in schools, because behavioral change among the elderly will not succeed. The protocol for the elderly is mainly focused on the group process that leads to bullying. Appointing a confidential counselor is important for the implementation of the Bullying Protocol. The job of a confidential counselor is to ensure that the protocol does not disappear into a drawer, but that something really changes in the common bullying situations. Such a confidential counselor can also be contacted by the family of a resident who is suspected of being a victim of bullying behavior.
Seven action points against bullying
The protocol includes seven concrete action points. For example, in addition to the proposal to appoint a confidential counselor, it is recommended to organize information evenings. It is also very important to properly introduce new residents and to take measures against those who exhibit bullying behavior by removing notorious bullies from the group and not allowing them to participate in the next activity.
Joke or bullying?
An important characteristic that a nursing home has as an ideal bullying environment is that people live in fairly small communities where people are constantly on each other’s lips with no way to escape. Many residents have also lived without a partner for a long time before coming to the care home, which means they have not been corrected in their behavior and have learned misbehaviors that are difficult to unlearn. These can in turn lead to bullying comments. And what is intended as a joke by one person is often perceived as bullying by another.