Almost everyone will have to deal with it sooner or later. Your relationship is struggling a bit and suddenly you notice that one of the two partners is missing something in the relationship. Of course, there are also plenty of people who will look for it outside the relationship, but if you don’t choose to do so – or at least not initially – what are the options?
Everyone has their own relationship problems
The relationship therapist often only comes into the picture at a later stage when the relationship is really on the mend. Sometimes it’s actually too late, but sometimes the relationship therapist can still fix it. It is evident that the sooner you sound the alarm, the better. Yet sometimes it sneaks in before you notice it. And what creeps in is different in every relationship, because while one person likes the recognizable and recurring, the other finds it boring. But it can also be about missing time for each other and where one partner is happy to have limited quality time, another sees it as a stumbling block in the relationship.
Work on your relationship
Speak out and be clear in your words
The fact that you express displeasure or threatened displeasure to each other is already an important aspect, because many people do not express it to each other or do so too late. One of the main reasons why relationships fail is that there is little or no communication. At least not about things that really matter, things that touch the heart. Plenty of reasons, but we are all good at thinking for the other and where one person thinks he/she is being a nag by talking, the other thinks that he/she will not understand him/her and therefore keeps his/her mouth shut. .
The biggest mistake you can make, because you are both in an adult period of your life and are responsible for your own life. So if you experience something as stupid, crazy or nagging or you really don’t understand what the other person is talking about, then you express this.
What matters is that you express in words what your heart feels. Share this with your partner and try to enter into dialogue. Not saying that it always works, because the partner may not be ready to receive yet. However, you won’t really know until you give it a chance. Continuing to try is pointless and frustrating, because the person receiving does not respond or respond and is therefore ready to enter into such a conversation or not.
Speaking also means being clear in your language use, because disguised sentences often fail (more women than men use disguised speech). It is clear that more men than women do not like such language and that is not a myth but a fact. If you experience something as unpleasant, do not say so in veiled terms, but simply as it is.
Common matters
In a relationship you must have some things in common. In addition to things that you do for yourself, there are things that you do together, experience and/or discover as pleasant. Look for that common denominator again and see whether the passion that applies to both is still there and whether it encourages that pleasant feeling that you get when you can enjoy something together.
Celebrate successes together
If something nice happened to you, you achieved a business success and/or you experienced something incredible, share it with your partner. Your partner should feel the passion that radiates from success. In addition to the unpleasant moments (even if only to tell your story), share the fun things as well. Not only to know what else is going on outside your shared life, but also to feel what that does for and to someone. Give it to him/her and then feel whether and, if so, what that does to you.
It is what it is
A relationship has different phases and some people want to be in love forever. Then you can do two things, or break off your relationship and look for someone else, if you feel that falling in love has passed into the next phase. Or you embrace the next phase, which in a collective concept is referred to as loving. And loving is a little different for everyone, but we all know what it is. These butterflies are replaced by cheerfully buzzing bees or pleasantly strolling hedgehogs or a sweet, cuddly dog. But whatever the outcome, every relationship has different phases. Loving is very beautiful, but it can sometimes also be experienced as a rut, more of the same, etc. Every relationship has a bad moment and there is no point in working frantically. It is important to be alert and sound the alarm if you feel less comfortable for too long. Timing is important in this, but if you are both serious about the relationship and talk about it normally, you can also do something with it.
Finally
A relationship is not something that always happens automatically, especially in a busy life, you sometimes really have to make time to see your partner enough, do fun things, etc. But that is what makes a relationship just as much fun.