Everyone knows them, the stereotypical fifty-something with a young woman on his arm who drives away in his new sports car. Why do men suddenly want everything differently at a certain age? Is it hormonal, is it psychological? What happens to the good family man who suddenly turns his own life and therefore that of his family upside down?
Menopause
When a woman stops menstruating, it is called menopause. Women often behave differently under the influence of hormones. It takes some time, sometimes even a number of years, before the woman finds herself in calmer waters hormonally. The change in hormonal balance also has a lasting influence on women’s behavior. Female hormones make a woman homely and motherly. Of course, a person’s character does not change completely, but many men still see that their wives start to think more about themselves after menopause and become a little more selfish. What about the penopause?
Penopause
During the penopause (late forties, fifties) men produce less testosterone, but this is a very small hormonal change. It cannot be compared at all to the hormonal changes that occur in women. Yet many men in their forties and fifties end up in a midlife crisis. If the change cannot be clearly explained hormonally, we can only conclude that the change is psychological.
So what exactly does the midlife crisis consist of?
Life is entering calmer waters. The time for a driven career is over, the children are growing up and require less time and attention and many men think to themselves Is this all? Is this my life now? Will this continue until I retire? Is this what I want? Unrest and dissatisfaction with their boring, predictable lives arise.
Men often try to make a change in their lives. They go for that dream they always had. That motorcycle, boat or sports car . They suddenly start exercising a lot to feel young and dynamic again. That usually works, because a trained body also feels younger and can also do more. They start looking for other work, often something completely different than what they have done in recent years. They need to develop in some way. Not to stand still, but to change so that there is some movement in their lives again. Something to look forward to, something to get out of bed satisfied in the morning. This change can of course also be a new woman, being open to a new crush. Some men go completely crazy and temporarily act like teenagers. According to some experts, these men have suffered from attachment problems all their lives, but perhaps they simply feel restricted in their freedom and lack self-esteem and tension in their lives.
During the midlife crisis, any change is welcome. Especially when people in their forties and fifties are confronted with illness or deaths in their environment, they will have a strong feeling that they need to make more of their lives. That he has to do and experience more. Now it is still possible. Men often have these feelings more strongly than women. The midlife crisis also lasts longer on average for men than for women. However, change only gives a short boost to your life and the dissatisfaction often returns over time. Sometimes men also make wrong decisions during this time that unfortunately cannot be reversed and which they later regret. Ultimately, acceptance follows. That’s just the way life is and you do get older. That doesn’t mean your life is over.
Change
Change every now and then makes life interesting and it can be very refreshing to try something completely different. The difference between simply taking on challenges and the midlife crisis is the reason why this is taken on. Men (but also women) who make changes in their lives during the midlife crisis do so out of dissatisfaction and often after long thoughts. They actually want to be young and vital again with all options still open. This leads to irrational decisions and the pursuit of vague dreams. That does not alter the fact that change in your life is very healthy and keeps you young at heart. You should only do this with the right motives and not because you want to escape from the life you have chosen.