It is not always easy to accept something, no matter how much you would like it. You always want to be happy, but that’s not how life works. How should you deal with unpleasant moments, fears, negative feelings and annoyances? Instead of getting even more excited about certain things, sometimes it is better to accept them. This does not happen automatically and you often have to make an effort. This can take a lot of energy and perseverance. Once you accept something, you will feel better about it.
Luck
Some people want to control everything in their lives and think that they can determine happiness themselves. Things come your way that you did not anticipate and it is not always easy to deal with them. There are people who think you should always be happy, but happiness is usually a momentary thing. It is not possible to enjoy every moment of the day. Reality does not always meet our expectations and that can lead to frustration, sadness and annoyance. By accepting certain things, you can find peace, which gives you a greater chance of happiness.
Look at facts
Try to see things factually and try not to be biased. When something goes wrong, people are sometimes tempted to exaggerate things. For example, if the car does not want to start, you say that there is always something wrong, while this only happens occasionally. Do not immediately think that if you feel a pain that you may have a serious illness. Don’t spend all your energy complaining, but try to spend it in a solution. This way you let your feelings be in control and not your behavior.
Set realistic goals
Everyone sometimes thinks about the meaning of life. You want to do everything you can to feel good. It can be small things such as being good to someone else, for example saying hello to someone in a friendly manner or giving a compliment. It can also concern bigger things, such as having a conversation with someone who has been annoying you for a while or choosing a different job. If you find it scary to choose something, try it anyway. Be realistic if, for example, you choose another job. Is it not too ambitious or do you have to take training for it? Think about it carefully before making a final choice. When you don’t choose, you also make a choice.
Face confrontation
As annoying as it can be, don’t try to ignore unpleasant feelings. A person is often naturally inclined to avoid an unpleasant situation, without having exposed themselves to annoyance, fear, sadness or anger for a long time. When you avoid a situation, you will always come up with things to avoid a confrontation. It may seem like a great solution, but in the end it doesn’t work. You reduce the chance of changing behavior and do not look for solutions. Acknowledge the problem and address the conflict.
Observe your feeling
When you get a feeling of annoyance, anxiety, or other unpleasant emotions, focus on them. Try to separate this experience from the event. Try to see that it is not the situation that is horrible, but that it makes you feel that way. Try to observe your feelings as if you were an outsider judging them. For example, someone who is very shy may respond by exhibiting aggressive behavior to hide their shyness. The aggressive behavior can help for a while, but it is better to accept the feeling and respond from there.
Tips
It may be easier said than done, but learning to accept is very difficult. Often you want it, but you don’t know how to accept it. Acceptance is something you can develop, but you have to be willing to put in the effort. Dealing with negative feelings makes it possible to distance yourself from them later. Here are some tips for learning to accept:
Active acceptance
Experience the negative feeling and realize that life is not always fun. Unfortunately, feelings of anger, disappointment and sadness are sometimes part of it. Confront this feeling and observe your thoughts. Think about how you can disconnect yourself from this situation.
Don’t resist it
Let the thoughts come and don’t resist them. You often can’t change a situation, but you keep thinking about it. If you continue to resist the thought, it often only causes more stress. Often thoughts that come will disappear again. Your thoughts don’t always have to be the truth.
Adjust your expectations
For example, you may not be able to buy your dream house, you may not be able to get that great job or you may not be able to find the perfect partner. This can lead to disappointment. Try to adjust your expectations so that they are realistic and look at the things you are satisfied with.
Accept yourself
Some people set high standards for themselves and feel that they have to perform, develop and walk on their toes to meet societal standards. It is better not to let self-acceptance be linked to social norms. Look at your own norms and values and do things that suit you, even if others disapprove. Hang out with people who make you positive and give you energy and avoid people who have a negative influence on you. Live the life that makes you happy, even if it means a lesser career or a smaller house.
read more
- Learning to accept: how do you do that?
- Tips to become happier
- Worrying: what can you best do about it?
- Feeling depressed: how to get rid of it
- Compulsive disorder and its relationship to avoidance behavior